Comedy King/queen T-Shirts

'And do you, Rex, promise not to take sides?'

'That'll be the tenth time Columbus has visited the virgin islands this week.'

"Davina McCall: Life at the Extreme takes a celebrity to the most extreme places on Earth!"

Stand-up Romcom

'Great Therapy!'

'How do you like my fantasy weekend so far?'

'His workout regimen consists of 50 sit-downs every day.'

"Yours is adjustable?"

Junior barrister prompting a deaf and testy chief

To read or not to read?

"I hate you! You don't understand me and you don't understand my software!"

'Don't be so dramatic and get into my office!'

"Feel my claw of death!"

'Hey, buddy, do you mind lending me a hand? I appear to be stuck in this thing.'

I thought I was proposing to Sally, but evidently I was challenging her to a twenty year series of debates.

'Your Grandpa achieved greatness, he thrust greatness upon me, and then you were born great!'

Humanities 101. I hear you're reading Greek plays in there. Yeah, it's a real Medea blitz!

'The dog ate my homework -- I thought maybe you could X-ray him.'

Waving from Behind the Curtain

'You're not really that much help, Ben.'

"Congratulations, Gentlemen! We removed it from his skull without damaging his funny bone!"

"The artist-in-residence is struggling a bit, but other than that we're fine."

'I'm a star!'

'This new jester doth appeal to me.'

'If you're going to marry this geek, I suggest you get the extended warranty.'

'That's a personal foul, roughing the passer!'

"You have a really lousy sense of humor."

Theatrical emotion of Mr. Vincent Crummles

'I'm here in case one of the actors actually does break a leg.'

"Look at me, everyone! I'm amazing!"

"I followed the money and it led me to Edgar."

"I'd like an application form for the position of minister, please!"

Up your end.

'How animals mark their territory'

"Deal with it Your Majesty- Comedy is king!"