Comedy Queen T-Shirts

"What kind of bra are you looking for?"

'...And stop calling me the 'Mother of all Mothers'!'

Zombie standup

Benedict Cumberbatch

'They all want to play the star.'

"I had a fear of speaking in front of people, which is why I shadow puppet and sing the lessons."

Applause. Clap clap bravo. Spring musical. Cats. You were terrific! Our little girl!

Stand-up Romcom

"Have you read any of Shakespeare's plays?"

"I always thought I'd be good at getting drunk and crying on camera for Bravo."

Reginald Bunthorne

'Here's something that should suit your wooden acting style. How do you fancy playing the lead in Pinocchio?'

Jack-a-box in the theatre.

"Yours is adjustable?"

My Bangs: A Play in 5 Acts

Noel Coward.

"Can you recommend a wine that would compliment a divorce?"

We Will Beat Any Genuine Quote...

Tragedy, Comedy & Selfie.

I thought I was proposing to Sally, but evidently I was challenging her to a twenty year series of debates.

"And what else do you think you can bring to the role of Edmund, Earl of Gloucester?"

Aw, geez, is my fly down again? Why Superman started wearing his underwear over his pants.

Comic,,,Drama,,,Laugh Track,

'The dog ate my homework -- I thought maybe you could X-ray him.'

WTF?

'Ok. Now I'm sexy.'

Lady Macbeth

'Your Grandpa achieved greatness, he thrust greatness upon me, and then you were born great!'

'You're not really that much help, Ben.'

"A horse by any other mane would small as sweat."

'You say it's a dramedy? We thought it was more of a coma.'

"I got the part, but I play a waiter."

I can't wait 'til her tryouts for "Cats" are over.

Berta screams out!

Situation Tragedy.