Comedy In Politics Gifts

Sean Hannity

Sen. Krupt. I don't tell constituents that we're fueling inflation. I say we're protecting consumers and thanks to us they won't have to worry about buying any cheap stuff.

Reagacentennial

'Due to government surveillance, is my allowance taxable?'

"...No it does state here quite clearly...the right to bear arms...not arm bears."

"With an average vote of 3.5 stars, the legislation is passed."

The White House: Some Assembly Required.

"Do you think Trump has read 'Contemporary Relativism and the Death of Meaning'?"

At This Restaurant, There Are Only Two Dishes on the Menu and They Both Suck

The Art of Misdirection

Antiwar Democrats Get Tough

"The president says it's a weather balloon."

It's the same ingredients and aftertaste as stimulus 1..."

Ted Cruz announced he's running for president. He's not going to win. He was the first to announce. No first-announcer has won since 1952. Besides, his name's too similar to Tom Cruise. And Tom Cruise is so not in right now. HOJ. We should have our own political show. If I an do it shirtless, I'm in.

Stay the Course.

'The popularity polls love what you've done with the budget deficit....moving the decimal one point to the left.'

OVERPOPULATION CRISIS LOOMS!, 'If the Government really wanted zero population growth, they'd turn the problem over to the Pentagon.'

"Bad news - the local sewage plant is made of reinforced autoclaved aerated concrete."

"I figure if I don't have that third martini, then the terrorists win."

War of Words

"You mean to tell me I can only vote against one Congressman?"

Thwarting the Boys from Brazil

'...and as a consequence, you lot all redundant. I'm not making it up.'

"Here's my idea. . . we offer Trump the Nobel Peace Prize as a quid pro quo for leaving office."

"Those taxpayers are real extremists."

'The attack will have to wait until tomorrow Congressman. Today is furlough day. . .'

'This is just a thought, but is there any way we could tax OTHER countries?'

'The trouble with electing a man on horseback is that somebody has to clean up after him.'

"Are you sure that this is the correct dress for a political event?"

Brexit Trip

'I just had the greatest idea! -- Let's deregulate ourselves!'

Trump's Speechwriters

RIP: Here lies the last remains of civility and honesty in the political process.

"Vote for me!"

"Quit saying 'President Trump'. You're spookin' the horses."