Comedy In Counseling Fanatic Pillows

Psychiatry. It's funny. You're a germaphobe and the last patient on that couch has a phobia about soap!

"Just keep quiet and listen to what we have to say."

You were warned about mixed marriages.

"Ma, what does 'kosher' mean?"

'I don't know...they all look like cows to me.'

"I have 25 patients in my counselling group...Mrs Sherman, Mr Martin, and Mr Martins 23 other personalities."

Day for day i feel more and more empty.

"Albert the Great—what a joke."

"Sometime I feel people go out of their way just to scare me."

I've been feeling sluggish lately.

'Pencil on couch being psycho analysed.'

"Teach me not to care."

'We auto mechanics get no respect!'

'Tell me more about your programmer.'

"Alexa, does this guy have mother issues?"

"Nobody loves me." "Yeah, nobody listens to me. Not even my wife." "My kids don't respect me."

"I'm sensing that the role-playing homework I gave you didn't work."

"Thar be an Hallowe'easter a blowin'."

'I'm going to refer you to Dr. Keinsorge -- he actually enjoys this sort of thing.'

"No heroic measures."

John Laurie

Sardine psychologist.

Can I take your disorder?

'I may not really need you. My imaginary friend is a psychiatrist.'

'Actually, I'm a placebo psychiatrist.'

'Right. Like I'd tell YOU.'

"....one minute I'm there - chewing the cud - the next, I get this urge to lead!"

"And what can I do for you, Sir?"

"You've got a few screws loose."

"So tell me about your last poop."

"I keep thinking it's Christmas."

'Don't you be dissing the Ho' now!'

'What seems to be the problem?'

"Our guest is Dr. Paul Veblin, renowned marriage counselor and resident of nearby Southport, where he lives with his 6th wife."

"Come on, Doc, one of us has to relax,"