Comedy In Counseling Fanatic T-Shirts

"Just keep quiet and listen to what we have to say."

You were warned about mixed marriages.

"Ma, what does 'kosher' mean?"

"I have 25 patients in my counselling group...Mrs Sherman, Mr Martin, and Mr Martins 23 other personalities."

Day for day i feel more and more empty.

"Albert the Great—what a joke."

"Sometime I feel people go out of their way just to scare me."

'Pencil on couch being psycho analysed.'

I've been feeling sluggish lately.

"Teach me not to care."

'We auto mechanics get no respect!'

'Tell me more about your programmer.'

"Thar be an Hallowe'easter a blowin'."

'I'm going to refer you to Dr. Keinsorge -- he actually enjoys this sort of thing.'

'I may not really need you. My imaginary friend is a psychiatrist.'

"Alexa, does this guy have mother issues?"

"I'm sensing that the role-playing homework I gave you didn't work."

Can I take your disorder?

"No heroic measures."

Sardine psychologist.

"Nobody loves me." "Yeah, nobody listens to me. Not even my wife." "My kids don't respect me."

'Actually, I'm a placebo psychiatrist.'

'Right. Like I'd tell YOU.'

"....one minute I'm there - chewing the cud - the next, I get this urge to lead!"

"And what can I do for you, Sir?"

"You've got a few screws loose."

"Come on, Doc, one of us has to relax,"

"So tell me about your last poop."

'What seems to be the problem?'

'Don't you be dissing the Ho' now!'

Jeffrey Tambor

"I keep thinking it's Christmas."

"I guess I'll never understand women."