Comedy Cropper Pillows

"I wanted to plant my own food, but I couldn't find bacon seeds!"

The Department of Really Stupid Ideas: 'Most people think they just appear out of thin air! But the truth is, there's a great deal of very hard work involved!'

"And just like that, e got rid of Florida."

"Of course he's smiling. He's getting $15,000 to give a lecture on free speech."

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

"Tell me about this fear of couches."

"Bond James, Bond."

"In high school, I was quite the star in metal shop."

Showbiz Awards

"I'm grounded. I forgot to delete the car's computer history after we did those crop circles on Earth."

6 Quarantine-Friendly Fashions

'So let me see if I've got it straight. It was a very large squirrel and your husband is a nut.'

"His first out-of-body experience."

Director/Action Man toy.

Dietician to man: 'To address your spare tire we must first get in touch with your inner tube.'

'My body has rejected every diet I've tried.'

"Do you, Darlene, take Jim to be your lawfully wedded husband, when you could, clearly, do far better?"

"My emotional support dog ate my comfort food."

'As you can see by the pie chart, most of our expenses go to well, pie.'

"I've done this procedure so often I could do it in my sleep. But that's only happened twice – that I'll admit to."

'Is there another doctor in the house? He wants a second opinion.'

The first car accident.

"Renk just discovered beard oil."

"Fill out an application? Can't I just text it?"

Skiing.

'Fine stencilling. But have you never thought - Tit Willow, Tit Willow, Tit Willow?'

'I love your playing....especially when you stop!'

Squirrel Chasing a Dog

Dog Walking Services

"The fish sticks here are very good."

I must say a winter wedding certainly saves on confetti!'

Fat Kid 10- Eats an ice-cream