Comedy Courtroom Explorer Pillows

"Sure I shot him - but I shot him in good faith!"

Questions about an old case refuse to go away. . .

'How do you plead, in twenty-five words or less?'

"The doctor is in court on Tuesdays and Wednesdays."

"Not guilty by reason of genetic determinism, Your Honor."

A baby in court

'You're the watchdog. Do you honestly expect us to believe you didn't see anything?'

"Isn't it true that the prosecution offered you a bone to testify?"

A Judge about to enter an operating theatre for a 'Clinical Trial'.

"My next witness is his Google Assistant."

"I didn't ask to be made with seventeen grams of fat."

"The Defendant must stop trying to side-step every question the prosecution asks!"

'Is there any chance I could do the five years vicariously?'

"I object, Your Honor! This line of questioning is really weird."

"Let's take in a trial."

"In my client's defence, the label on the bottle clearly read, 'rat poison'...not 'people poison'."

'I've been charged with evading jury duty.'

'I've never sued anyone but I bet I'll be good at it.'

"...And now show us what you said."

'If you plead guilty to being the Cat Burglar, I can get you off with just being declawed.'

"Love is grand... divorce is a hundred grand."

Hermes, Process Server Of The Gods

"I pronounce you guilty as charged and wife."

"One soft drink and eleven stiff drinks."

"My conclusion that he lied was based on his body language, his polygraph results, and the complete implausibility of his story."

"We may be in trouble. . . the prosecutions expert witness can usually tell if a defendants been good or bad!"

He was good. Real good.

"Well, perhaps 'guilty' is too strong a word."

"It's not really perjury if you're a compulsive liar."