Comedy Courtroom Explorer Gifts

"Sure I shot him - but I shot him in good faith!"

Questions about an old case refuse to go away. . .

'How do you plead, in twenty-five words or less?'

I don't think we can survive here. There's little chance we can afford the taxes.

"The doctor is in court on Tuesdays and Wednesdays."

"Not guilty by reason of genetic determinism, Your Honor."

A baby in court

'You're the watchdog. Do you honestly expect us to believe you didn't see anything?'

"Isn't it true that the prosecution offered you a bone to testify?"

A Judge about to enter an operating theatre for a 'Clinical Trial'.

"The Defendant must stop trying to side-step every question the prosecution asks!"

"My next witness is his Google Assistant."

'Is there any chance I could do the five years vicariously?'

"I didn't ask to be made with seventeen grams of fat."

"I object, Your Honor! This line of questioning is really weird."

'Let's agree to disagree.'

"In my client's defence, the label on the bottle clearly read, 'rat poison'...not 'people poison'."

"Let's take in a trial."

The start of a clinical drug trial. Your honor, we will prove beyond a reasonable doubt this pill is both safe and effective.

'My client may have huffed and he may have puffed, but ladies and gentlemen, he just happens to have a very bad smoker's cough. He did not blow anyone's house down!'

Hermes, Process Server Of The Gods

"Your honor, we were having so much fun being sequestered, we forgot what the defendant is charged with."

"One soft drink and eleven stiff drinks."

'I've been charged with evading jury duty.'

No offense intended your honor…It just seemed like this case screamed for a frivolous law suit…

"...And now show us what you said."

I hate these he shed, she shed cases.

"My conclusion that he lied was based on his body language, his polygraph results, and the complete implausibility of his story."

"Love is grand... divorce is a hundred grand."

"I pronounce you guilty as charged and wife."

'If you plead guilty to being the Cat Burglar, I can get you off with just being declawed.'

'I've never sued anyone but I bet I'll be good at it.'

"We may be in trouble. . . the prosecutions expert witness can usually tell if a defendants been good or bad!"

He was good. Real good.

"It's not really perjury if you're a compulsive liar."