Comedy Cooks T-Shirts

"We should settle this in the kitchen."

"Oh -- just scrape it off."

'Mmmm. How do you get the custard so creamy? You must give me the recipie!'

"Waitress, have you smoked salmon..?"

Too Many Lawyers Spoil the Broth

''ere - I thought you said your pans were non-stick!'

"That's it. We’re toast."

Soup of the month.

'Like death by salad.'

Night of the Latkes

'But Mom, I like potatoes in their jackets.'

'I think I'll go home and eat'

Paris' magnificent Trifle tower.

Health and Safety Gone Mad.

"I call it 'rage loaf'."

"Five hamburgers with buns, three hamburgers without buns and two buns, without hamburgers."

"I hope you won't repent afterwards, Vicar, It's a devilishly hot vindaloo!"

Clyde in his 'egg-beater.'

"No thanks, I'm stuffed."

Aqua Filter (frog jumping out).

"Our cook is new, so ge's Googling what goes on a bacon, lettuce and tomato sandwich as we speak."

'Muriel's philosophy is that what happens in the kitchen, stays in the kitchen.'

"I flunked out of cooking school. Even the dog won't eat my homework."

'White smoke means she decided what to cook. Black smoke means it's done.'

'When you asked me over for a home-cooked meal, I assumed you'd be making it.'

"That’s a toaster. It’s a tanning bed for bread."

'I don't think that's what they mean by reducing the wine.'

Chef uses Harp to cut Sausages

"Can you turn these mashed potatoes into french fries?"

'Does this thing get channel four.'

The Complete Spaghetti Dinner.

"....And then chuck the whole lot in the dustbin and phone for a take-away."

"So why do you need a ladder to make pancakes?"

"Looks like it's time to make the banana bread."

'Dinner will be ready soon -- the submarine sandwiches are soaking now.'