Comedy Connoisseurs Pillows

At Ireland's oldst and most respected school of dance, Mrs O'Hara made a terrible discovery... (Book entitled 'The book of Irish dancing vol. 2 - How to incorporate the arms')

"Does this make us bad parents?"

'I'm sorry Adam, but you're ugly... I mean we all are, but especially you.'

"Jessica could you call Tech Support and ask when the lazer was last calibrated please?"

"You know, honestly I see it as half full."

Insured against insurance salemen

Fred interpreted the word compact as a verb, not as an adjective.

Double headed snowman outside a nuclear power station.

The Lawyer of Oz

"Pistols at dawn?"

Materialism

"I wish someone would hurry up and invent the grid, because I'm getting pretty tired of living off it."

"Aha. . . the Sphinxter!"

"So I'm perfectly healthy? That's good but will I still be able to research symptoms online and panic?"

'You never knew your father - he got stuck in a tree somewhere.'

'This looks like trouble.'

Magic Book.

Jesus the comedian.

Worker at the Ace Dunce Cap Corporation.

Helicopter Parents Support Group: 'If everyone could just take a seat!'

A man peeping through keyholes ends up with a keyhole imprint on his face.

Brain Cells.

'I'm afraid you have hailstones.'

'He lost an umbrella. And the umbrella stand. And his home where the umbrella stand stood.'

"He was a plagiarist. So what if I plagiarized him."

"I'm here about my grandson who swallowed the coins!"

"It's okay mate, I only need the cork from your bottle."

"It's not that we had more fun before we got married --- it's just that now we're having a different kind of fun."

"He sounds like a papaya I bought that just went straight from green to rotten."

Hell's Comedy Club

"When we have fun, we really have fun."

"Why can't David Blaine just stick himself somewhere and not involve he rest of us?"

"This is my 'country house.' I also have a duplex in the city."

The last Passenger Pigeon

Attack of the Really Lame Stick Figures