Comedy Canine Gifts

'...and God created canine in his own image.'

It is important to give your dog opportunities to play with people.

Knock on the door - dog stands up and shouts 'Beat it!'

"No no, I said sit!!"

"So, tell me a little bit more about this house training you mention on your CV."

'I wonder if they have any water filters?'

"No, no - it was great. It's just that sometime I'd like to try it missionary style."

'Hey Harry, you know you've been walking around with a biscuit on your nose for the last two hours?'

"Why, you little Shih Tzu."

'Table scraps, doggie-bag goodies, dropped hot dogs, the cat's dish of food and your master's slippers.'

"Parts of a dog" "Hears food drop" "Smells food" "Chews food" "Swallows food" "Digests food" "Moves toward food" "Signals for food" "Makes room for more food"

"I'm working from home today."

Rusty starts to have very violent thoughts toward his tail.

"I'm new here. How much do we leave for a tip?"

"They're friendly, but they're also carnivorous, so remember that when you're called on to beg and roll over."

"Yeah, I don't like this part either."

'Just taking the dog for a walk, Dear.'

His Master's Thesis.

'Oh, oh, a pack of dogs! Stand still amd maybe they won't notice us.'

'...and remember, son, never throw up on an old carpet...wait until they get a new one!'

"I finally caught you... now what?"

Dog in love

Woman leaves dog in rain...he gets into a car to wait in the dry.

"The article says there was a break-in at the museum last night. I don't suppose you know anything about that."

Dogs life

"....And what's the deal with fetch? You want the stick or don't you? Make up your mind already!"

"No I said fetch , not wretch.."

'You're supposed to just lick the cone!'

'If I don't chew this, my S.A.T. scores will skyrocket.'

"I always get the 'Good Boy.' How about the 'Bad Dog' for a change?"

"I see you mister mail carrier... that's it, just keep walking... don't even think abo—did you just look at my house?! Are you looking for trouble? Cujo ain't got #!@* on me."

"Well, that will never be a yoga pose."

'Technically, he's on a leash, so I say we let this one go.'