Comedy Book Lover T-Shirts

'My favorite book? The 1946 Encyclopedia Britannica's volume 9, Extracti to Gamb. What's yours?'

1,000 places to see after you die by Shirley Maclaine.

"Of course he's smiling. He's getting $15,000 to give a lecture on free speech."

"And just like that, e got rid of Florida."

Adult Courses. It's so hard keeping the information from different classes separate! I'm talking film history and psychology. I failed a test because I said a "psychopath" is the walkway Norman Bates took home. I also confused geography and aeronautics. I said the "great plains" are located at an Air Force testing base in the California desert. My worst nightmare was confusing the thinks ti learned in driver's education and statistics. But at least I now know it's driving where you must st

"1984 by George Orwell. Project 2025. Presidential transition project."

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

"Bond James, Bond."

"In high school, I was quite the star in metal shop."

Showbiz Awards

"I'm grounded. I forgot to delete the car's computer history after we did those crop circles on Earth."

6 Quarantine-Friendly Fashions

'So let me see if I've got it straight. It was a very large squirrel and your husband is a nut.'

"'I don't want war'. . . well, wither our translation program is broke or this president has a strange kind of humor!"

Director/Action Man toy.

International Women's Day

Dietician to man: 'To address your spare tire we must first get in touch with your inner tube.'

'The history of Glue. It's impossible to put down.'

Library sections; Fiction, non-fiction and do-it-yourself.

'My body has rejected every diet I've tried.'

My Bookshelf Before the Internet

"Do you see yourself becoming a movie in five years?"

Come in, minion. What's up, boss? I'm writing a novel. It's a thriller about an intrepid caf

...and then I...wait....What's that?? Whoa! We're on a spaceship! This is fun! Hey! What's this button do? Can I pull this lever? Are we there yet? Take a selfie with us? Do we get snacks? Can I drive? Are we there yet? Something we said? Just imagine if we'd been obnoxious!

'As you can see by the pie chart, most of our expenses go to well, pie.'

The first car accident.

"I bought it off the therapist who's helping me kick my compulsive shopping disorder."

'Is there another doctor in the house? He wants a second opinion.'

"Renk just discovered beard oil."

I must say a winter wedding certainly saves on confetti!'

'I love your playing....especially when you stop!'

"You may now kiss the bride..."

He's in training for the rugby World Cup.

Fat Kid 10- Eats an ice-cream

"No, I like the plan. Just saying, have you ever done any actual tunnelling?"