Comedy Album Collector Gifts

Hits Of The 80s: Remastered by the health and safety department.

Occu-Pie Mars

Hollywood Sign Developers

"Frankly, now that he's an obnoxious teenager, I find it more and more difficult to muster the urge to protect him..."

"Now, were those friends of your Gettys or Gottis?"

'Are you finished eating yet, sweetie?...Guess that answers THAT question!'

Build your very own conflict of interest!

'You've got bats alright...now we'll just have to determine what kind.'

Robert Fripp

To no ones surprise, they ran head-on into one another. (All couples are wearing teachers reading 'I'm with Stupid'.)

'Me, I don't spend my pocket money: I hoard it...'

'Bert's dog training.'

'What did one flea ask the other?' 'Shall we walk or take the dog?'

A large leaf falling on a dog

"It's a letter from the Vatican. They say that whilst walking the streets without stepping into dog poo is nearly as miraculous as walking on water, it's not sufficient to canonize me!"

'So where do you think pineapple juice comes from?'

'RUN FOR COVER!!!!! It's another one of those 'Baby Showers'!!!

Frozen Turkey: "I hate to bother you on a holiday but I'm freezing out here. Do you have a heated enclosed space I could rest inside for four to five hours?"

"A GPS! Thanks guys! It's exactly what I need to guide my sleigh...you know, in light of that unfortunate hunting accident."

At home with the Bones...one skeleton yells at the dog chewing his leg, 'now cut that out!'

Banana Split...

'You and your 'Rescue the Reindeer' campaign!'

Filet minion

Drink for me and my hot mamma. Now! We don't serve beer. Latte. Two, punk! Decaf. You don't want to see him angry. Also, low-foam and soy milk would be great. You don't want to see him gassy. Can I get one of those little Twizzler sticks to stir it with? Cube of brown sugar, please. And one nonfat blueberry scone! Two! I'd like to see how John Wayne would've ordered a fancy coffee drink.

"Whoa. Someone needs their diaper changed."

'Big sale at the Dog Store. Buy 1, get 2 free.'

Cake Free Zone

"Eat me"

A 'Falling Rock' and a 'Deer Crossing' zone.

Snowmobull

"Do we have to go to the beach? I think the airline mixed up my luggage."

'The bad news is you're going to marry a geek, and not a pro athlete. The good news is the geek owns the team.'

'Rover isn't any good at catching frisbees. You've heard of stone hands?...he's got a stone mouth.'

Turtle Hat

A golden Big Boy holding a plate of poop