Comedically Wise Elders Pillows

"Before there was the Internet, Grandpa didn't know that he was right about everything."

"O young, naive one...you must know the golden rule of the kitchen. To avoid the mother of all disrespects...never criticize the cooking of a family elder."

Sadie, I just heard something disturbing, and I think you're the only one who can tell me whether it's true. Youtube is telling me we've lived 300 years of phantom time. Pope Gregory XIII's math was off when he created our calendar, and this is actually the year 1717. What's more, the "Middle Ages" is just a fiction the pope created to explain his rounding error. You were there, Sadie ... Did King Arthur really exist? I'll tell you all about that nice boy, as soon as I demonstrate how we dealt w

'We all shrink as we get older... You'll just have to be a little patient!'

Psychologist is SHOCKED by what his elderly patent is telling him.

'Are you our new glue-ru?'

'It will save us time if you don't tell me what still works and and what doesn't hurt.'

Medical Bling: "Help!" on a rope, Important info, O2 4U, Snazzy 3-prong

Man with sticker on back reading 'Wife's point of view on board'

The Ageing Process.

'The 20th century wasn't bad, but I preferred the 19th. I'm open minded for the 21st.'

I told you to take the stairs instead of elevators. Taking escalators isn't meeting me halfway.

'Let's just say, if you were meat, you'd be way past your 'best before' date!'

"I just stood up and nothing hurt... Am I dead?"

At the Old Bikers' Home

"Relax, at your age it's perfectly natural to make groaning noises every time you move a body part."

"Don't bother complaining about anything to granddad...he'll just say 'these are the best days of your life!!!'"

100th Birthday

Quadruple espresso. Sorry, Uncle Mort. I'm gonna have to cut you off. I'm old! I can drink as much as I want, whenever I want! You think I got this old without knowing what I can and can't handle? Sorry. See?! I told you I - Zzz. A barista should always follow his instincts.

Elderly religious cleric takes stair lift up the temple.

When you get to be my age, you start to notice certain patterns in the river of history. You start to notice, for instance, that the winner always loses. What's that mean? Every great power defines itself as the opposite of its main enemy. Once that enemy is defeated, the great power loses its virtues, its unity ... even its identity. The great power then either creates new enemies, or it fades into history. (Yawn) Old people talk a lot. What I'm saying is, you were not my first "Rudy Park," and

"Face it, Dear, we're in a desperate battle with gravity...and it's winning!"

"Well, yes, high heels do often cause foot problems..."

'Every time I stick my head above water, my life flashes before my eyes.'

"If you had listened to me when you were twelve, you wouldn't be in this mess."

'Grandpa, how did you settle things before litigation?'

'Promise me you'll see someone about your sleepwalking soon.' (OLD MAN WITH ZIMMER FRAME ON BED)

Another one of life's artifacts best left alone - the proverbial can of worms.

"George Stoner is here from Terre Haute. He and Henry are talking over old times."

Social Security Medicare Office - Now Hiring Phd In Theoretical Mathematics to Explain the Medicare Drug Options.

Old man talking about how his attitude to politics has changed with age

'I like it when they're at the age where we can remember more than they can.'

Young boy gives grandfather advice on smoking