Comedic Violence Fan Pillows

'Evil Olive'- An evil olive has taken out his co-workers with cocktail swords.

Wedding Day Itinerary.

"Boss, I guarantee you that my intentions with your daughter are serious."

'Please, could you me to Polish my diet!'

Tree Mobsters. 'I didn't hear anything. Did you hear anything?' 'I didn't hear anything.'

''It's me or your stupid racing pigeons' I said - then immediately regretted it.'

"Oh, come on! I've told you, I'm not your 'imaginary friend.' I'm your father."

"You heading south again this summer?"

"Young lady! You aren't going anywhere dressed like that!"

2 mummies...

'You Have a food allergy. Even worse it's to 'O' type!'

Vestibular Nerve: What it takes for a Vestibular System to wear paisleys with with pin stripes.

Knife-thrower.

Vampire Sit ups

'I'm a genetically modified fish aimed at the environmentalist market.'

The few moments delay was the downfall of 'The Cat'.

"Any other educational qualifications besides Trump university?"

Santa, Alien, Easter Bunny and Sasquatch plan the perfect caper.

'Yeah, Kirby, it hurts like hell, but dang if I can't stop wigglin' it.'

Student to teacher: 'If my paper is late it's because I'm waiting for the most current event.'

'If they let me take you home for christmas, I'll be able to unwrap you with the presents...'

Ambrose's - for sale. Wonderful opportunity for a man named Ambrose.

"It's your husband from beyond. He says stop trying to 'Google' him."

"Any luck"

LARGE FRONT

"When you said you were getting a pet to help you through the lockdown, I thought you meant a cat."

No, thank you, I brought my own bag.

'Oh... I was supposed to swallow the pill?!'

'So, what have we learnt here? We do not have knife fights on the bouncy castle!'

"One day, son, all this will be....Never mind."

How come nothing good ever happens to me? Like what? Like getting taken by a foreign government then rescued. I want to get a book contract, to be part of the news cycle, to have him talk about me. Whom? Speak my name, Anderson Cooper! The great one.

"Well, of course you have a heart."

Just unburied.

Eskimo in Igloo

'Recommended reading' selection of books e.g.'Team spirit, by Geoffrey Boycott'