Comedic Timing Detective Pillows

"I see travel and romance. You'll be going away soon. I see a tall, dark stranger with many tattoos."

'The police is looking for a teenager who reads books... I bet they'll never solve this case!'

"This is the murder weapon the defendant used, your honor, and these are the tunes he butchered in cold blood."

'At 11:35 it's the SLOW sign. At 11:39, the STOP sign. At 11:43 it's back to the SLOW sign. At 11:49 you break for lunch. At 1:00 it's the STOP sign...'

Kissing Prompt

Wayne Krasnicky - unlucky gambler and unlucky in love.

'When it comes to romance, Sherlock doesn't have a clue!'

'You're an inspector now?'

'Yes Sarge - looks like another carbon footprint'

"His last words were: Tell Martha to pay the doctors first."

Mission Impossible

Dog on skates.

The Fifth Annual Crow Convention - "If you ask me, I reckon it looks like a murder!"

"Perhaps you slept SLOWER than usual..."

Golf Crime Scene.

'Which piece are you going to play?' - 'The Minute Waltz' - '1 minute 9 seconds. Fail.' - 'Damn you, Chopin!'

"Now, let's try a Waltz. Don't worry about me though, I'm wearing safety boots..."

'I'm sorry, we are looking for a different kind of party animal.'

'It seems they couldn't decide if the new millennium begins at 3000 B.C. or 3001 B. C.'

"He wasn't ready for the talk."

Horse bolts from Horse-box it sees in a carpark.

"Oh, now you want to talk, when all week it was 'Do Not Disturb.'"

"Now I'll read a selection from the book I have chosen. Sift a quarter cup of flour into a bowl. . ."

A bird tries to fly through a window to a bird house which is in a living room.

'I'm hoping one day I'll be discovered by the director of Riverdance.'

'Well, I heard he was a player.'

'Yes, it was number 4, I'm positive,'

'You're doing great. I'll take over at half past. . .'

'We've searched the whole house, and there's still no sign of the evidence. To be honest, I'm starting to think we've got the wrong guy.'

"But on the other hand..."

God's turnaround time.

'Do you know he's got body parts in that suitcase?'

"Now, don't get too excited – it could just be a hand puppet."

"You could add 'Men who say "Ciao!" who are not even Italian or of Italian descent' to that list."

Desk trays: 'Ka...' and '...Boom.'