Comedic Television Junkie Pillows

THE ST. FRANCIS OF ASSISI SHOW.

'The History Channel is all reruns.'

This is Lenny the leopard with the on-the-spot news.

"I don't know if I can do 'Gilmore Girls' today. I'm not sure I'm feeling up for anything involving witty yet poignant repartee."

Dancing with the Star Wars

"What's so wrong with always living in the present?"

'It's a program on paranoia. Every time I leave the room, they stop and wait for me to come back.'

'It's not as impressive as it looks. He only watches fishing shows.'

"What's orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot!"

"Why not stay with your mother and me? The Feds will never find you here."

Shopper in grocery store sees TV dinners marked daytime and prime time.

"There's more to life than beer and football...I just can remember what it is."

"Say hi to your mother for me and tell her I'm happy her bypass turned out O.K

"We interrupt this advertisement to bring you another advertisement that has just been rushed to the studio."

"Can't stop watching. That ribbon is amaaazing..."

"Well, you gonna spin?" "Ah, maybe after another Breaking Bad."

America's funniest investment scams

'He's in training for the Olympics'

How to get on talk shows by promoting your new book

"'60 Minutes' is on."

'I'm going to ask you one more time; who left a hot mug on this table?'

"Since you ask, when I'm through here I go home and listen to a bunch of mindless crap on TV."

'What ever happened to that persnickety inspector?'

"I'm sorry, could you repeat that? I neglected to talk over you."

Wall mountable TVs.

'What shall we watch - best security videos of 2013 or operating room bloopers, blunders and bleeps?'

"I see myself as a lot like Garbo, but very much a people person!"