Comedic Ranter Pillows

Visual Gag: An about to be married Bride using a real train as a wedding gown train

'They're right.polorized sunglasses do help you see better underwater.'

Runner going through hurdles.

"I hope you love me for my money, not for who I am."

"We got him onto an exercise bike, but I'm afraid it was too late."

Jumble Sale

"We should take life one step at a time." "OK, but not right now...there's some dogs do-do right in front of us!"

'I think I'm just coming up to the finishing line, Dear.'

'Hey babe, I got two tickets to the gun show, you interested?'

Jeff makes some nice jugs.

Sweet Jailbreak

'I havn't finished last years Marathon yet...'

'I want a refund! It refuses to go into my son's room!!'

Rollercoaster police chase.

Man fights with his shadow.

'Me' Weekly

20 Volts for Wavy Hair, 50 Volts for Frizzy Hair, 100 Volts for Curly Hair and 500 Volts for Hair beyond description.

Shooting in Ireland

Heaven on the Phone to Hell - 'We've got Sky.'

'You didn't train for this marathon, did you?'

"I like to be disciplined about my writing, sharpening my pencils and organising my desk in the morning which leaves me time for writers block after lunch and a nervous breakdown in the evening."

Model's aspirations

'...explain to me again why you are burying the shoe you threw..'

'It's a midlife crisis - he doesn't know anyone with a vacation home that he can mooch off.'

"Plan B was to supplement my retirement income as a party clown, and that brings me to my loan application."

"When dealing with Americans, refer to the heat in Celsius. They hate that."

Drunken Ass

'I barely got a shot off on this big fellow.'

"I heard this pond is full of big bass!"

'The success goes to your head. The money goes to us.'

Wanna step outside and say that?! Don't beat yourself up. At least not until you've put something on.