Comedic News Aficionado Pillows

Wedding Day Itinerary.

"Now you've seen the bust how about letting me see Naples?"

Trumpeter swan meets trombone swan.

"Boss, I guarantee you that my intentions with your daughter are serious."

'Please, could you me to Polish my diet!'

''It's me or your stupid racing pigeons' I said - then immediately regretted it.'

"You heading south again this summer?"

"Young lady! You aren't going anywhere dressed like that!"

Vestibular Nerve: What it takes for a Vestibular System to wear paisleys with with pin stripes.

'I'm a genetically modified fish aimed at the environmentalist market.'

'Yes, he did turn into a price, but there were complications.'

'Yeah, Kirby, it hurts like hell, but dang if I can't stop wigglin' it.'

"Then one day he said, 'It's either me or the damned cat!'"

Student to teacher: 'If my paper is late it's because I'm waiting for the most current event.'

'If they let me take you home for christmas, I'll be able to unwrap you with the presents...'

"Any luck"

"When you said you were getting a pet to help you through the lockdown, I thought you meant a cat."

'Oh... I was supposed to swallow the pill?!'

"Boy! That Harvey will do ANYTHING to be the center of attention, won't he?"

'So, what have we learnt here? We do not have knife fights on the bouncy castle!'

MPs opt for longer surgery opening hours: Gp's have to be available when the public needs them... We won't be able to look at it until after the six week Christmas break!

"He decided to write a travel book..."

LARGE FRONT

"I brought popcorn..."

Eskimo in Igloo

'Recommended reading' selection of books e.g.'Team spirit, by Geoffrey Boycott'

'He doesn't like to be called an Optometrist. He prefers the title 'Visionary'!'

Hmmm, this reminds me...your mother called last night.