Comedic News Aficionado Pillows

The Art of the Heel

Wedding Day Itinerary.

"Now you've seen the bust how about letting me see Naples?"

Trumpeter swan meets trombone swan.

"Boss, I guarantee you that my intentions with your daughter are serious."

'Please, could you me to Polish my diet!'

''It's me or your stupid racing pigeons' I said - then immediately regretted it.'

"You heading south again this summer?"

"Young lady! You aren't going anywhere dressed like that!"

Vestibular Nerve: What it takes for a Vestibular System to wear paisleys with with pin stripes.

For a few dollars more, we can get a suite. Spaghetti Westin.

'Yeah, Kirby, it hurts like hell, but dang if I can't stop wigglin' it.'

'Yes, he did turn into a price, but there were complications.'

"Any other educational qualifications besides Trump university?"

'I'm a genetically modified fish aimed at the environmentalist market.'

"Then one day he said, 'It's either me or the damned cat!'"

Student to teacher: 'If my paper is late it's because I'm waiting for the most current event.'

'We were playing Twister at a party. . . there was a loud popping noise.'

'If they let me take you home for christmas, I'll be able to unwrap you with the presents...'

"Any luck"

"It's your husband from beyond. He says stop trying to 'Google' him."

"He decided to write a travel book..."

"When you said you were getting a pet to help you through the lockdown, I thought you meant a cat."

"I brought popcorn..."

'Oh... I was supposed to swallow the pill?!'

'So, what have we learnt here? We do not have knife fights on the bouncy castle!'

"Boy! That Harvey will do ANYTHING to be the center of attention, won't he?"

LARGE FRONT

MPs opt for longer surgery opening hours: Gp's have to be available when the public needs them... We won't be able to look at it until after the six week Christmas break!

No, thank you, I brought my own bag.

Eskimo in Igloo

'Recommended reading' selection of books e.g.'Team spirit, by Geoffrey Boycott'

"I just can't do it without someone else yelling directions."

'He doesn't like to be called an Optometrist. He prefers the title 'Visionary'!'

Hmmm, this reminds me...your mother called last night.