Comedic Litigation Enthusiast T-Shirts

Chemical Lawyers.

Recruiting litigation lawyers is ALWAYS tricky..my last one took me to court for the emotional and professional damage I caused him by NOT considering him for a position I wasn't asked to fill.

'I think I'll become a lawyer.'

"Bailiff."

"Do you have a good attorney or a bad attorney?"

'Can I sue someone because I didn't win my lawsuit?'

"We're slapping you with a stress suit, pal!"

"We make crime pay."

"Not guilty by reason of genetic determinism, Your Honor."

"This is my client's videotaped deposition—please be considerate and rewind after viewing."

A baby in court

Pre-nuptal Agreement.

"Great news, Mr. Corrigan. That large, life-threatening lump we removed from your back turned out to be your lawyer."

Portrait of a Serial Attorney.

'Your honor, I'd like a short recess so my client can make a run for it.'

'You're the watchdog. Do you honestly expect us to believe you didn't see anything?'

"The witness will confine his 'Knock knock' answers to 'Who's there?'"

"At least he's honest about it..."

'It was more than my finest hour, Paltrow. It was my finest billable hour.'

A Judge about to enter an operating theatre for a 'Clinical Trial'.

'I'm suing my way alphabetically through the phone book.'

"Once again, I simply don't recall."

"He may be only a junior partner, but remember - his mother destroyed half of Tokyo."

Attorney At Law: Today's special - Bankruptcy and Divorce. Two for the price of one.

Judge about dancing lawyer: 'When you get to the second stanza of this song and dance, please approach the bench.'

"Let's take in a trial."

'I bet this is going to be another round of criminal bashing, isn't it?'

"In my client's defence, the label on the bottle clearly read, 'rat poison'...not 'people poison'."

'I've never sued anyone but I bet I'll be good at it.'

'I've been charged with evading jury duty.'

"Love is grand... divorce is a hundred grand."

"I thought I'd try a Marie Antoinette for a change."

"Well the good news is that we came top in at least one category of the latest diversity tables..."