Comedic Guru T-Shirts

'I bet I can extinguish my ego before you extinguish YOUR ego!'

"Complaining empowers us."

'The humor I'm working into my talk is cracking me up.'

No Parking - Scandal or No Scandal

Wedding Day Itinerary.

'You must be Jim's new gardener. I'm his neighbour, Gerald. Had any luck with the Petunias this year? Aren't those Jim's feet sticking out of the ornamental pond?'

'The World will speak hip-hop tomorrow.'

Candid Camera store.

'I can make out the nude, but I don't see the submarine.'

Crew Goofs Off While Out Of Sight

Visual Gag: An about to be married Bride using a real train as a wedding gown train

'Just sitting around letting advertisers brainwash me. What about you?'

"Boss, I guarantee you that my intentions with your daughter are serious."

'What have you got for the man who knows everything?'

"Call me 'pops' one more time and I'll lace 'ya one!"

"I'll be a bit late... sorry."

'Let's call him lucky!'

Musical genres

Genetic Fingerprinting.

Thumbing a Lift.

"That's enough about the noggin and the schnoz. Let's move on to the tummy-wummy and the keister."

Man walking a long dog on a fishing rod.

"You never laugh at my jokes... "

'Please, could you me to Polish my diet!'

"She bathes him. She feeds him. She burps him. Mother's a real micromanager."

'Don't call the Nobel Committee just yet: We forgot to calibrate the instruments before the experiment...'

'Geez, I hate these fun runs!'

"Extra large sanitary pads and extra small ones, pads for the night..."

'He's a parody of a tired genre.'

'Ick! -- I'd never vote for anybody with hair like THAT!'

"Since when isn’t a taxidermied animal a comfort pet?" "Since forever!" "Dang it!"

"Mum can you come home quick, dad's started to make an exhibition of himself again!"

'I couldn't practice last night on account of my Dad's head was gonna' explode.'

Lady sees door sign next to ENT: 'Heads, Shoulders, Knees and Toes'.