Comedic Fashion Critique T-Shirts

'You should never wear a green parrot with a blue suit.'

No Parking - Scandal or No Scandal

I like this one. Do you have it in blue?

"Call me 'pops' one more time and I'll lace 'ya one!"

"She bathes him. She feeds him. She burps him. Mother's a real micromanager."

'You must have one arm shorter than the other.'

"It's not just me, Dad. Amazon.com has never made a cent, either."

'I'm glad to see you finally pulled in sales. Nevertheless, you're fired. Here, we're dealing with socks and shoes, not with suits and shirts.'

Pop up begger.

"Please excuse our appearance while our records are being impounded."

"I'm wearing Donna Karan."

"The school construction budget is so small we can't even afford to build a snowman."

"Would you have anything a bit...'stupider'?"

'Same problem every morning. What to wear..?'

Boris Johnson lies his way out of trouble

"Yes... you'll be wearing that bridesmaids dress for eternity!"

"December 29, 1991: Janet sacrifices months of self esteem therapy for the perfect New Year's Eve dress." "It's called an 'Everest' gown because it would be a monumental task to squeeze that mountain you call an ass into it."

"I've designed the logo for your new social media app. It's a dirty laundry basket."

"How dare you not salute the goddess? You'll burn at the stake for this, damn heretic!"

'I'm all talked out. Let's look into some gene therapy.'

"Wow, maybe Heidi Klum looks like Gisele Bundchen."

Right now my brother Al is paying a psychiatrist a hundred bucks an hour to hear his troubles, while I'm drinking beer and telling you mine at happy hour prices. Obviously, Al IS the crazy one.

"Do I take it that we can't be guaranteed your vote in the forthcoming election?"

"Sorry, but it's store policy to remove man buns by any means necessary."

London Congestion & Polution Zone - 'What's your problem? I thought Boris was in charge now.'

'I'm a genetically modified fish aimed at the environmentalist market.'

'I don't mind you buying the camouflage suit at the mall, but did you have to wear it home.?

Prices include consultation with fashion therapist.

'It just seem excessive, somehow -- buying a big-screen, high-definition TV to watch Geraldo with.'

"Excuse me - could you tell me which recession we are in at the moment?"

"Good Dad, Bad Dad"

"You read the exit sign. The eye chart is behind you."

Safety Pin

'I see you've dressed to go clubbing.'

Robot Bores