Comedic Chemistry Buff Pillows

'You clumsy oaf! -- I can't believe you actually dropped the antimatter!'

"This is a lovely old song that tells of a young woman who leaves her cottage, and goes off to work. She arrives at her destination, and places some solid NHHS in a flask containing 0.50 atm ofammonia, and attempts to determine the pressures of ammonia and hydrogen sulide when equilibrium is reached."

'I pledge allegiance to the atom, and to the periodic table on which it stands, many particles indivisible, with orbitals and electrons for all.'

Carbon Dating.

Molecules You Ought to be Aware of.

Wedding Day Itinerary.

"You have to believe what you're doing will lead to something valuable, even though it probably won't."

'As it's your first day we're going to start you on something easy.'

'What's the big deal about acid rain? Can't we just make alkaline rain to counteract it?'

''Science moves but slowly, slowly, creeping on from point to point.' Tennyson.'

Scientist admires his structure of a dog

Thank you for not doing research that has already been done.

Sexual chemistry set

Andy Oxidant meets Free Radical.

Science Fair Judgements

"Boss, I guarantee you that my intentions with your daughter are serious."

"Mom lets me eat my fill of junk food as long as I can pronounce all the chemical ingredients."

Employment recruitment aptitude test

'Please, could you me to Polish my diet!'

Genetic Fingerprinting.

Free Radicals.

E=Emcee Squared

Protoplasm

'Don't call the Nobel Committee just yet: We forgot to calibrate the instruments before the experiment...'

'What'll I do with the nuclear wastes?'

"Essentially Wilkins proves things and Brenner disproves them."

"Oh, oh - it's getting into organic."

Molecules You Ought to be Aware Of.

Lab safety Rule No. 1

''It's me or your stupid racing pigeons' I said - then immediately regretted it.'

'It's amazing what they can do with amino acids these days.'

I'm not insulting you --- You are a fatty acid!

Working On Silly String Theory.

"For the perfect sedative, take the juice from a bottle of whisky..."

'Can you feel the electricity in the air?...'