Comedic Card Connoisseur T-Shirts

"JUST SIGN THE CARD!!"

'Have you tried our home-made wine?'

"Hey, pal, let's hear 'Doggie in the Window' again, and this time play it like you mean it!"

Surf Casting

Wedding Day Itinerary.

'How about a game of cards?'

'It finally took me thirty years, but I finally have one of every 3-D comic book ever made'

'I'm also fluent in Geek.'

'My boyfriend's a Cardiologist.'

Sale on Bathing Suits, One Size Fits None.

'Just look at him. The face that lunched on a thousand chips.'

'Choose, Fenster

Santa called but you were out!

Malcolm Sargent

"Don't worry your majesty, they can't see you, this is a one way mirror."

"Boss, I guarantee you that my intentions with your daughter are serious."

Three card brag - I'm great! I'm really handsome & I'm very rich.

Inaction Figure

'Bye dear! I'll have another nice reindeer steak ready for you when you get back.'

'Please, could you me to Polish my diet!'

'Well, somebody on this stupid little planet ordered an extra-large with pepperoni and mushrooms!'

"Hold on - I need to tell the credit card company I'm going on a trip."

'Don't worry it's organic...'

'Why do they call these conventions when everyone here is so unconventional?'

'Wine represents all things civilized. It's an artistic expression, a manifestation of cultural enlightenment...'

"I thought he was into fitness, but his 'fitness tracker' turned out to be a flea and tick collar."

'It's Blurred.'

I know I'm not qualified for the job, but watch my incredible video resume anyway. It got an Honorable Mention at Cannes!

Milton wonders if it would be possible to substitute scotch and sex for tea and sympathy.

"Shouldn't there be some sort of pecking order around here?"

Litteratti K9s.