Comedic Animal Perspective Pillows

"I can't even remember what we were fighting about."

"See? I told you changing his food would be traumatizing."

Biofelineism

Zoo: No Hunting.

"Why can't you just dig things up like normal dogs?"

'You'll be getting $5,000 worth of doggy treats this week. If your owner sees the charge on his credit card, you don't know me.'

'He keeps grounding out the energy flow.'

'Keep repeating to yourself: I am a high flyer, I will not dive for the salmon.'

I must be losing my grip, he didn't query the bill...

Man wearing T-Shirt saying 'Dog's Best Friend'

"I think what he's trying to tell you, dear, is that he doesn't quite care for the cheaper dog food!"

"I know I said, 'If there's anything I can do,' but I draw the line on licking your incision for you."

'We've minimized your tax liability by losing a lot of your principle.'

The Rolling Bones

So the short answer is no; these aren't billable hours.

"I expected to see some politicians in there!"

When psychiatry works too well!

'I don't remember his name, but he also sold me $14,000 worth of aluminum siding.'

'Do you have to do that every time?'

Tree growing

"Oh, God, am I housebroken."

'I hope we don't start getting competition from redundant bankers homes.'

'You look lovely, but we need to lengthen your train a bit...'

'You thought I'd gone out of business? What gave you that idea?'

"You'd like a second opinion? Okay, I think you should stay off the furniture too."

Brenda lost not only the egg toss, but something much, much more.

"Pet peeves" "I fear the cat." "I fear the cat" "I fear the cat." "Fecced me."

'Pointless Pets: A ceramic tiled giraffe.'

'I really hope that Fred makes the most of it until she joins him for the rest of eternity!'

"Where do you see yourself 5 years ago?"

"Wait a minute! - First you say, 'Lay up treasures in Heaven,' and then you say, 'You can't take it with you'!"

"I only know 'Sit' and 'Stay.' "