Comedian With A Compass T-Shirts

All Roads Go Nowhere.

You Are Here

Bicycle sat nav.

Neil Armstrong Outtakes

Right, this is the map of all the UFO sightings. Hold the light steady love.

'You had better eat those intestinal organs or there's no dessert for you!'

Recalculating

'You said I should check back with you if I didn't get any better. . .'

"Yeah, uh, maybe you're not cut out to be the 'sparkly' kind of vampire."

A series of Exit signs.

Moses comes to Los Angeles.

Control Center. A satellite is falling! Tell NASA to divert it so it doesn't hit North Africa. Good golly, Miss Mali!

"The Webb telescope can look FAR back in time to before things were a bit s**t!"

"I touched another squirrel's nuts. Any other questions?"

'Now boarding all passengers in the middle class.'

'I'm sick and tired of begging!'

Looking at You Are Here Map "How do they know?"

"Hold on, one more thing to go."

'They separated us.'

Actually, I think you looked better with Atlantis.

Men Against Asking for Directions. M.A.A.D. Does anyone know where we are? Lost Cause.

Phil blows his interview before even sitting down.

"I'm getting the hang of this wake up every morning, and do basically the same thing with different complaints until I die."

"The asteroid has what looks like a small rear end on the back of it."

Cola Observatory

Rock the boat.

'The mail is here and it looks like the opticians have written to us.'

'Have you heard about the origami shop?'

Make Your Own

'You can't get there from here!'

'You're putting that saddle on backwards.' - 'How do you know which way I'm going?'

'Are you paying attention Eurasia?' 'Sorry, I was drifting.'

"Now that the kids and grandkids are grown I can get back to more erotic embroidery."

'Your father told you to look both ways when crossing a four lane highway?'

'It's no good telling me to eat my grees, Mum. You know I'm colour blind.'