Comedian In Spirit T-Shirts

"I'm getting the hang of this wake up every morning, and do basically the same thing with different complaints until I die."

'Now boarding all passengers in the middle class.'

Ladder

"I’ve tried to make this as painless as possible ... clearly I’ve failed."

"What's that? I asked for a teal lichen. That's a brown thread. Are you trying to upset me?"

"I know, I know, every time we come here, I swear I'm going to try something new, but I always end up getting the same thing."

"Hue More Church Candlelight mass 7:00pm - 8:00pm"

'Why, of course I remember our first date -- I had filet mignon, potatoes au gratin, sauteed....'

What say we rough it today and go without ice in our drinks!

Don't swallow. I've lost a contact.

I'm prepared to admit that you may have startled me a bit, sure!

Two priests share a laugh outside a confessional booth

Another day at work would be one too many...

"Wait 'til my Dad hears about this!"

“...And on the ninth day God created mosquitoes, just to annoy the hell out of everyone.”

'They help with my nicotine patch addiction.'

At the 2021 Religious Games

Rap music

"I chose to stand up to special interest groups!"

Toy plane with pilot eject.

'When you said you had an investment in gold, you didn't mention it was in your teeth!'

A private jet takes off

'I'm told you've been born again, again and again. . . ?'

"He's declared it an area of natural beauty"

Moses uses the burning bush to roast a kosher frank

'I hope you ain't got no tax up here!'

Exit Next Left

'Well, if nothing else, Brad, your wine selection does prove you have a sense of humor.'

"Seriously, I used to be the staff of a guy named Moses, man the stories I could tell..."

"Over millions of years, carbon turns to diamond. Yet it took dad plus his grill mere minutes to turn last night's marinated chicken into that carbon."

Adam puts God on hold while texting.

'That's funny, everybody else is going downstream.'

Guru.

'After the tone, please leave your name and number.'

'Shall we bother with the sweet, chubby-chops?'