Comedian Of Contrasts T-Shirts

"No Chateau Lafite '62? Guess I'll have a brewskie."

Antler Buzzers.

O Romeo, Romeo! Wherefore art though, Romeo? Seriously, wherefore art thou? Shakespeare in the Dark.

“Pottery Classes – Give it a Whirl!”

"Let's play make-believe. I'll diagnose you with a life-threatening illness, then cure you with a wonder-drug that turns out to be a placebo."

'Who stuck corks on all the cursors?'

"The last doggy bag."

Snowman dreaming of surfing.

'If they don't laugh, we'll say it's art.'

Monet At Open Mic Night

"Not to quibble, Helen, but if you look up 'Pathetic Loser' in the dictionary I don't believe anyone's picture is there."

Two friars ringing bells

'How'd the negotiations go? Take a wild guess.'

Ye Olde FIgure-Drawing Classe

'Thanks to Obama the Nobel Prize has lost much of its prestige. This is the third time I got one in my surprise meal this week.'

When worlds collide...

"Sometimes I think you guys don't want peace."

Clown Cowboy:'DRAW!'

'Knee him in the groin - it always works.'

"I'm hoping that once we enter the Bronze Age I'll be able to get a better likeness of you."

"Do you have anything fit for a King?"

'Will you knock it off. Your set wasn't that bad.'

"What's a nice girl like you doing in a place like this?"

Big dog little man.

"Being vague and general?" "No, that's the first law of psychics, I want the law of phsics."

'I've had it with your bright, sunny, upbeat...'

Bad vibes next 3 miles.

'You, you, you. Why is it always about you?'

Scavenenger's hunt.

'That dog won't hunt.' Bird dog in a pink tutu.

Eggskimos: Eskimos in the form of Eggs.

Middle-aged dreidels

The Hand Puppet's Dinner

The Stone in the Peach

'Two subjects are off limits here, religion and politics.'