Comedian Of Contrasts T-Shirts

Antler Buzzers.

“Pottery Classes – Give it a Whirl!”

"Let's play make-believe. I'll diagnose you with a life-threatening illness, then cure you with a wonder-drug that turns out to be a placebo."

'Who stuck corks on all the cursors?'

"The last doggy bag."

'If they don't laugh, we'll say it's art.'

Snowman dreaming of surfing.

Monet At Open Mic Night

"Not to quibble, Helen, but if you look up 'Pathetic Loser' in the dictionary I don't believe anyone's picture is there."

Two friars ringing bells

'How'd the negotiations go? Take a wild guess.'

'Thanks to Obama the Nobel Prize has lost much of its prestige. This is the third time I got one in my surprise meal this week.'

Ye Olde FIgure-Drawing Classe

"Sometimes I think you guys don't want peace."

Clown Cowboy:'DRAW!'

Bad vibes next 3 miles.

'Will you knock it off. Your set wasn't that bad.'

"Do you have anything fit for a King?"

"What's a nice girl like you doing in a place like this?"

Big dog little man.

'I've had it with your bright, sunny, upbeat...'

"I'm hoping that once we enter the Bronze Age I'll be able to get a better likeness of you."

"Being vague and general?" "No, that's the first law of psychics, I want the law of phsics."

'Knee him in the groin - it always works.'

'That dog won't hunt.' Bird dog in a pink tutu.

'You, you, you. Why is it always about you?'

Scavenenger's hunt.

Eggskimos: Eskimos in the form of Eggs.

The Hand Puppet's Dinner

"Have you been eating your greens?"

'How about instead of the $383,000 I owe you in back taxes, I give you some free advertising space on my web site?'

The Stone in the Peach

'Two subjects are off limits here, religion and politics.'