Comedian In The Bunker Gifts

'Ignore Malcolm...he farts like a trooper.'

Project Length As Measured In Dog Years

"...and what really makes this story scary is the kittens got lost in the woods before flea and tick products were invented."

'He just burst into my campsite, and broke my banjo!'

The Wine Bottle and the Corkscrew

'He was only reaching for his powerpoint presentation pointer.'

'Think how all that chatting is affecting global warming.'

'Maybe it should be funnier...'

"And that's when the therapist suggested… exposure therapy!"

'The results of your physical exam are fine, except for your reflexes: They're more 'dog-like' than 'cat-like'.'

'I thought that 'remote gizmo' was just for manoeuvring the caravan down the drive!'

In, Out, Shake it all about

'You sloth and gluttony guys have it easy -- I'm here for envy!'

'You sure complain a lot for someone who says he loves nature.'

"Wow! That's an amazing welding project!"

"I'm not lazy. I'm resting before I get tired."

'Does the hunter I just ate make me look fat?'

"Geez, Dude. I asked for a slight trim. Not a Brazilian wax."

The guy who got in on the ground floor

"Roll over. Your Zs are looking like Ns."

Bloke orders a pizza as Jesus divides the loafs and fishes

'We've got a personal hygiene foul! Number 70!... Fifteen yards!!'

Excess Baggage: If your vacation plans include 'Getting Back to Nature' be careful what you wish for.

Have food. Need toilet paper

The Sex life of a Driving Test Examiner, "Thank you. I will not ask you to perform that manoeuvre again."

Boy makes a finger shadow on the tent.

'This will teach them to clean up after themselves after they camp in our woods!'

"My wife is always on to me about eating more vegetarians."

Scary Marshmallow Campfire Stories.

And what will it be today? The mask of comedy or tragedy?

'That filet mignon was supposed to be your last meal? Whoops-a-daisy!'

"I can't wait to get to the campground...back to mother nature!"

"What do you think? Would flaming marshmallows make good torches?"

'When someone asks where you work, what do you tell them?'

The biggest fish.