Combat Sports Critic Pillows

'You'd be a good boxer except for two things. . .Your hands.'

"Really? They're now giving out non-participation trophies?"

"So, what are you reading?"

Maybe we should stop calling it 'The Masters.'

Gold Medal for IOC boss Thomas Bach in the discipline of Brown-Nosing-Dictators-For-Money.

"This round, forget the finesse. Hit him."

'Call 911! He watched 12 straight hours of football without training adequately.'

Rest in Peace Instant Replay

Please Do Not Throw Cups of Beer At The Players... It's A Waste of Beer.'

"Keep it up. His knuckles are getting really sore"

Red State Football

'What the... Oh, lucky me - it's just something easy to get rid of!'

Footballer playing for time

'Soon as your endorphins kick in, you'll feel great.'

"Hey Ref - any chance you can get those buzzards to quit circling over my fighter?"

Then and Now.

'It's good to see you sweating off your stress.'

'I don't want to mention any names, but one of you isn't giving 100% out there.'

'We're sending you down, Hartnett. You need to work on your scratching and spitting.'

Doping

'Such petulance!'

Mike Tyson

The Joust

"The hardest thing about winning bouts? The other guy's fists."

'You may be wondering what a sex scandal has to do with managing the national team...'

'Now, I want you to get back out there and beg him for mercy!'

'But now for the good news, Bob. The replay was shown repeatedly on Sports Center.'

Group showers. Just one of the reasons few golfers take up football.

Bull with gun

'I believe you want some fencing done at the bottom of your garden?'

"He's told them many a time, not to let defenders shoot, but do they take any notice. . ?"

BREAK TIME! Take a break!

"The hardest thing about winning bouts? The other guy's fists."

'Touch me and I'll see you in Strasbourg.'

Black BeltBlue BeltBlack and Blue Belt.