Color Critic T-Shirts

'Is it me or do these new led street lights wash out the reds and yellows?'

"It's off-white, but a little too off. It may get very tiring. What do you think?"

'Vanity, thy name is Maple.'

'This outfit...does it only come in this color?'

Naomi channels her eating disorder through watercolor painting.

'To much orange.'

The Art Student.

Butterfly Woman

You're my Mona Lisa.

'It's called 'Oh Bugger It!' if you must know!'

"I think that's one of his early 'blank canvases'. I think there are some bigger ones in the next room."

"You've got a long, long road ahead of you, young man."

"I call it 'Bad Dog.'"

Wolf Danny With "Random""The work must be tantamount to mayhem. Making an insatiable public confused, indifferent, annoyed—this is the premise on which rests my deliberately vacuous oeuvre."

'The way the eyes follow you is uncanny.'

'Just think of it as graphic design, Mom.'

"It's a postmodern mosaic, almost lyrical in its undercurrent." "My five-year-old will be happy to hear that."

"Well....I could've done this!"

"No, ma'am. I'm not sure what the difference is between being creative or just plain weird."

Use your imagination.

"What the %@!!* is that?!" "Is that a leg? Wait—no, it's an arm. Wait—what?" "The frame is nice." "Whatever it is, it makes me miss Bob Ross." "Gasp!" "The intentionally lost Caravaggio"

"I would like a tube of lemon yellow, cadmium red, cobalt blue, ivory, black, and zinc white, a sixteen-by-twenty canvas, a couple of brushes, and that book 'Painting in Oils'."

'It's a Joan Biro.'

"Personally, I'm a doer."

"I may not know much about art, but I do know what's suitable for framing."

"Isn't it an amazing co-incidence that this is an orange, and it IS ORANGE?"

Honest Vending

Mr. Empirical With "Antarctica""Small is hostile. Rage contributes to shift away from literality. I'm off to True Value Hardware for some more self-reference tools."

'Wow...Your work is amazing!'

"Yes, one is a dog."

'Projectile painting.'

"Is it me, or is Jasper Johns a genius?" "Über-genius, Larry. Über!"

Schools of Art - A Rough Guide.

Couple Sitting in Front of A Sunset.

'I can make out the nude, but I don't see the submarine.'