Color Coordination Expert Pillows

Neil liked to co-ordinate his outfits with his soft furnishings.

"What's that? I asked for a teal lichen. That's a brown thread. Are you trying to upset me?"

"I'm busy this afternoon, but I can crayon you in for Saturday."

What every man thinks to himself when he puts on a pink shirt.

'Vanity, thy name is Maple.'

'How many blummin' shades of black ARE there?'

'To much orange.'

'Men will never understand.'

Using teamwork to paint a lamppost.

'Daddy, why is that man wearing a blank T-shirt?'

Wearing all black

Furniture. I don't care what style. I just want a couch that matches her fur.

"Painted like this, finding furniture to match at least one colour should be simple!"

Woman shops while man sets up noose. "Do I go with bright white, deep white...."

'Is it me or do these new led street lights wash out the reds and yellows?'

'I'm looking for a business suit, in a color that will let me blend in.'

'I think it's called RED!'

Decorating a column.

"He wasn't quite dark enough to name 'midnight' so I named him ten o'clock."

My compliments to the chef – These colors totally match my Instagram aesthetic.

"It's off-white, but a little too off. It may get very tiring. What do you think?"

Nail shop offers cell phone covers that match painted nails.

'....Who's the interior decorator again?'

'Did you notice how her pink nail polish clashes with her red tricycle?'

Juggler

"I'm sorry, but Woolfsey Academy expects a basic level of preparation from its candidates. Mistaking vermilion for scarlet? I don't think so.".

"Thank you for not saying 'Missed a bit.'"

Painters

"You look great, dear. Your skin goes with anything."

'Do you have any white with a hint of discount?'

"Ok, Ok, let's go and check: I have my pantone colour chart. We can work out if the grass really is greener on the other side. . ."

"I have to change my hair style again. My parents said they love it!"

Dr. Reynolds finally realizes what he puts his patients through as he and his wife look at paint swatches.

Painting by numbers - "Is this your first decorating job."

A man walks into a modern art museum, where a painting matches his shirt.