Color Coordinator Pillows

Woman shops while man sets up noose. "Do I go with bright white, deep white...."

'I'm looking for a business suit, in a color that will let me blend in.'

A man walks into a modern art museum, where a painting matches his shirt.

'Daddy, why is that man wearing a blank T-shirt?'

"The firm of Reynolds and Reynolds cannot legally change your 'colors' from 'autumn' to 'spring.'"

"You look great, dear. Your skin goes with anything."

Nail shop offers cell phone covers that match painted nails.

'Men will never understand.'

Wardrobe

"When my sister sees our living room she'll be pistachio green with envy!!"

"My ophthalmologist says it'll take a few days for my pink eye medicine to kick in, so I figure I might as well color-coordinate in the meantime."

Juggler

"I'm sorry, but Woolfsey Academy expects a basic level of preparation from its candidates. Mistaking vermilion for scarlet? I don't think so.".

"Thank you for not saying 'Missed a bit.'"

"Oh yeah, wearing blue and green together is definitely a sin."

'At least it matches the curtains.'

'Mind changing these blue tablets-they clash with my red handbag.'

'You can't wear that dress, it clashes with your 'phone.'

Painters

'Which paint do you prefer? Avocado, leafy cottage, or crushed aloe?'

'....Who's the interior decorator again?'

Tartan Suit.

Decorating a column.

"There! That's the trim color I want!"

What every man thinks to himself when he puts on a pink shirt.

You Find The Colour - We'll Match It!

"You've got to fill in these forms to join the 'How to reduce bureaucracy' seminar."

"You may now kiss the bride..."

"Thanks to my wedding planner, everyone in the wedding is still talking to each other."

"I'm busy this afternoon, but I can crayon you in for Saturday."

"As this is a civil ceremony, I'd rather you took the vows without swearing."

Buisnessman Of The Hour - I'd like to introduce our guest but he is 45 minutes late

Man at penthouse party walks out onto terrace and is startled to see the Earth, instead of the moon, shining in the sky.

'Our goal is to stress di-versity while remaining a uni-versity.'

'Why don't you leave the planning of our wedding to me?'