Color Collector T-Shirts

At my house I can only use green.

"The poka dot and tiger stripe ribbon raises awareness that we're running out of ribbon colors."

Henri Matisse

"These are the very weapons your mother and I used in our famous duel."

'It's genuine 17th century satsuma - and the pair would have been worth ?14,000.'

You're telling me not to choose sides between Google and Apple. Precisely. Computer Villa. Stay neutral. Continue to support both companies. Emotionally. Right. By buying as much as you can from both companies. Doesn't that only benefit you? Heretic. Absolve yourself by upgrading your phone! Computer Villa.

'Or we could just ask her what kind of dog it is.'

A new you. 'First, you've got to stop lying about you age.' It didn't start off well.

'Heirloom Tiffany Lamp Delivery. I Brake for Everything.'

His cubicle had come to be known as 'Teddy Bear Heaven'.

When cartoonists drink too much coffee.

'You know, there's no need to reinvent the rock.'

'Yeah, yeah, yeah... I know the drill.'

'... and we're also having a sale on do-it-yourself emergency surgery kits.'

Al's Farm Equipment: Our Prices Can't Be Beat!

'... Going once...going twice...aaaand--sold! To the gentleman in the front row for a thousand words.'

'...So you claim this is genuine Rembrandt?'

Woman applying makeup

"Twenty-five thousand, do I hear thirty thousand? Let me remind you all - this is the last Thin Mint cookie in the sleeve..."

Pun on Excalibur - Swiss Army knife appears from the lake.

17th Century Anonymous Dutch Paintings Museum: Formerly 'Rembrandt Museum'.

'Don't know much about art but I know what I like.'

"More concealer?"

'Would it have killed you to go with a store-bought model?'

"Fetch, Ernie, fetch!"

'It's my latest invention -- I cal lit 'a rock tied to a stick.''

"I wonder what this was for."

Doric, Ionic, Corinthian, and Broken Pillars.

"I'm sorry, I can't assist with this request."

"Mine, I believe, is the Green Jacket."

"It's a flip phone. I guess we can document this as an ancient, archaeological discovery."

"Hey, Dad, guess what? My Honus Wagner baseball card is worth $2.1 million!"

'My hubby is getting better at D.I.Y. . . . Oh yes, he now spends more on screws than plasters.'

These colour charts are ridiculous... coal' black, 'midnight' black, 'licquorice black'.' - 'There's too much choice! All I want is plain old boring bl-' - 'Ooooooh... 'panther' black.' -

'Anyone else would be satisfied with one coat, but not you!'