College Planner Pillows

Record College Tuition Inflation. This is hard for families with multiple kids in college. They're going broke by degrees!

It's parents' night. They're discussing the college admissions process. Isn't it early for that? Are you kidding? They'll explain how to pay for 50-grand-a-year tuitions. In that case � It's already way too late.

'And finally, if you're going to commit a felony, do it before ol' dad incurs the high cost of tuition.'

I figured out how we can pay for the kids' college tuitions. Do tell. I'm going to leave for a year of self-discovery, which I will chronicle in a best-selling memoir. Oh, but

Finally I understand why it's called 'Higher Education!'

"And where do you see yourself in the next 7-8 billion years?"

Spring To Do List: Teach, Testing, Testing,Test Some More. . .

Your granddaughter is studying for SATs. Oh really? Ahem! What did you get on your practice tests? Drool.

"Where am I going to college? I thought this was college."

'I wish his guidance counselor spent more time on college plans and less time suggesting names for his band.'

'This will be tough. The parents can handle Bs and Cs, but I really gotta spin this D in math.'

"I must say, that was a very detailed answer to my 'where do you see yourself in five years' question."

"And where do you see your mustache in five years?"

"Two roads diverged in a wood and I... I... I..."

"Stop applying! You've been accepted to three universities!"

It's college orientation time. The brain cell is attending an elite academic university, and the hormones and endorphins are going to party schools. The muscle cell earned an athletic scholarship. And it looks like the DNA molecule has already picked a major. The DNA has life planned out. It's chemically active down there. The individual atoms are excited, but also seem a bit sad. Of course! Going off to college is an emotional time for them. Old bonds are breaking and new ones are bein

"Where do you see yourself in five light-years?"

School Days

"When I go to college, I'm focusing on a STEM area of study!"

"Where do you see yourself in 100 years?"

"Be honest. Where do you see me in five years?"

'When you talk about playing, 'at the next level', you mean lawyering, right, not the NBA?'

Back to School: 'Thanks for reminding me!'

'Medieval Studies is going nowhere without a 5-year strategic plan.'

'Trevor, it's some gentlemen to see you about your student loan.'

"When do the kids go back to school?" "Oh, I don't know... 8 days, 16 hours and 47 minutes... or so."

"What a party ... it's filled with back-to-school supplies."

"I want to be a Jockey."

"Maybe we apply as a group....crowdsourcing employment."

"Someday, I'm gonna be president of the United States."

Gretchen encounters the mother of all SAT questions.

'Any backup plan in case your dream of becoming a YouTube sensation doesn't pan out?'

'A hidden cost of implementing common core standards in education...'

"Gracie, don't worry. I created a college fund for you the day after you were born. I figure by the time you're 18, it'll total $28,000."

"There's definitely enough growing room."