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Stan Mack's Real Life Funnies: Alumnae News

Winter Freeze

Spring Breakers! The Resort accepts 18 year olds!

'Hello, Alumni Office? Bad timing. Your fund raising letter arrived with my student loan bills.'

Wally Begins research for his thesis entitled "who's a good dog?"

'It's rather unorthodox, but it appears the deposit refund on the empties will cover your first interest payment.'

'Don't worry. No one else knows what they are doing either.'

"I have a recurring nightmare that I've taken a test, and the professor won't give me an 'A'."

'You must have been wearing your beer googles.'

"Sorry, kid. No off-campus drinking until you're twenty-one."

"He said he doesn't want to see me in his office again..."

"Political Science... that's in the Department of Performing Arts."

Big Rock University. Guidance Counselor. I'd like to switch my major from hunting to gathering!

'Your thesis on 'how to keep warm in winter'? Interesting.'

'You have failed on all counts...'

'I'm on the short degree course... hell of a lot to pack into one year!'

Man, Lemont … how long's it been? Twenty years? Just about. You still working at Pigville Pork Burgers? Nah … I got a job as the Candorville Chronicles White House correspondent. Then I went on to found Candorville.com, the internet's seventh largest source for news and opinion. Oh. That's cool. That's cool. How do you not know this? We're Facebook friends. I post links to my articles every day. We were roommates all through college, and you don't even read my updates? Facebook's for reading yo

Cambridge dons eat a banquet outside to prove they only get one chicken each.

'Yes, your papers seem to have lots of citations, but I've checked: They're all self-citations...'

"I've decided to major in engineering...college loan debt restructuring."

Dear folks. Well, you were right; being the prettiest gator of the Everglades hasn't helped me one bit.'

"IBS isn't all bad. It was largely responsible for me winning 6 sprinting medals in college track."

College game crowd: 'WE WON',,,'and that somehow makes you superior'

"Meanwhile in Dogtown... Put your tongue back in your mouth. And pull up your pants. That’s not what your mom said last night."

"Sorry, had to barf real quick... so where were we?"

Bro of Frankenstein

"And before leaving virtual class today be sure and hit that like button!"

"I didn't know you could do worse than an F. When did they start handing out poop emojis?"

Starving Philosophy student grappling with the question of the toast in the machine.

"When you sit down, you get a shock. Open a book, you get a shock. Write something, another shock. It's a typical psychology class."

Room-mate Homicides Waiting to Happen. . .

The morning after the night before.

Monkey Business College

"I love college."

Enrollment limited to college varsity athletes.