College Decision Pillows

"We just want you to know that wherever you wind up going to college is fine with us, as long as it's someplace we can brag about to our friends."

'Well Mimi, what's it going to be...medicine or the cello?'

Colleges and vocational schools competing for students.

"OK, I've whittled down my list. When I go to college, I'm gonna study either law, biology and engineering...or journalism, medicine, anatomy, political science, forestry, business, math..."

"Actually, I'm hoping what I'm going to be when I grow up hasn't been invented yet."

'Our admission policy is now simplicity itself. If you have the tuition, you're in.'

"Yes Dad, I passed math and now I'm passing chemistry and physics."

Continuing education.

Math 101, for those who can only count to 100.

'I started out as a teacher's pet, and then it kind of snowballed.'

'Another football scholarship offer?'

"So...what are you doing after you graduate?"

"One year closer to college!"

'I hope I run out of money before I flunk out.'

"I want a top education, but don't milk me dry with school fees."

I'm getting ready to apply for college. Do you have a list of party schools?

"Maybe he's so sad that he's leaving us to go to college that he actually looks happy. Please don't ruin it for me with reality."

"Someday, Sweetheart, you’ll look back on this day and think to yourself, ‘Covid ruined my college experience.’"

'Junior's writing has improved. His letters from college pleading for more money, are froceful and flawlessly written.'

'Of course, I'm argumentative.. I'm PRE-LAW, for goodness sake!'

'He's got classic form, but if he doesn't improve his grades he won't get into college. He doesn't think.'

Finally I understand why it's called 'Higher Education!'

"My daughter tells me you want to become a doctor."

Rita's PhD defense wasn't going well."

"And in the category of 'The Most Amazing Comeback from an Academic Nosedive,' the winner is..."

Fishbowl rebellion.

"Never mind rehearsing for your first year at Uni. Get up now!"

'I really wanted to only take accounting courses, but my parents made me take this cartooning class so I would have something to fall back on.'

Trust

'You have failed on all counts...'

"My papie says I'm going to be the first in my family to go to college!"

"Where am I going to college? I thought this was college."

It's a letter from Tim. He claims his grades are improving and he might even make the DEEN's list.

"My parents are going to pay for my education but I'm on my own for any attorney's fees."

"Shouldn't you use a plate?"