College Critique T-Shirts

"Like I could date a guy from Notre Dame."

Master's Degrees of the Universe

"If you have to ask, you can't afford it."

"...This is the only way I can get though college!"

Uni. Snowflake Library

Cash For Places - Penbroke College

'It's all a load of Voltaire!'

Remembering the words of his 8th grade Algebra teacher, Moose bought his old middle school and made a mockery out of it.

'He has an MBA from Wharton.'

'If we could just get rid of a few of these lecturers and students, we'd have a great university on our hands.'

"When do you teach us how to become motivated?"

'First I'll do some covers, then I'll play some derivative, cliche-ridden original material.'

'I didn't know you could get a master's degree in soulless greed.'

Scientific Research: '...The solar rotation theory...I figure it'll take years of heavily funded research to see if the sun really does set in the east...'

'Since when did we start getting report cards, too?'

4 Great Ways to Fail

"I've been trying for days, but I can't get hold of the Superintendent for Accountability."

'How will THIS ever apply to my real life?'

'I think your test grading is biased in favor of students who answer the test questions correctly.'

'Caution: Some content may be offensive to sensitive students.'

'Damn! The uni has introduced new anti-student chairs."

'Did you really? I flunked out of Bob Jones, too!'

"I learned some interesting things in school today. I read the graffiti on my desk."

"You only got into this school because your parents donated a lot of money, too?"

College: 'We do not discriminate on the basis of race, age, sex, or religion. Students must simply be able to afford $20,000 tuition per year.'

'Liberal Arts' and 'Conservative Crafts.'

College students across the nation protest tuition hikes.

"Don't get me wrong; I learned a lot in college. Just nothing applicable to real life."

What does the M stand for?

University Admissions

"I think we really need to review our tracking policy, Mr. Corello!"