College Crammer Pillows

University Computer Rooms.

'I'm on the short degree course... hell of a lot to pack into one year!'

Grad School Parent-Teacher Conference

'I request an postponement, Your Honor -- I have to study for my bar exams.'

'The Great Depression? Didn't they have Prozac then?'

"The Wi-Fi password is publish 'publish or perish'."

'Mutation and natural selection? - That sounds awfully STRESSFUL!'

Biology Revision - Arse / elbow.

"No, I'm not the first in my family to attend college. But I am the first at an Ivy."

"I'm thinking that now is a good time to start those tutoring sessions."

'I see you have extensive experience eating, sleeping, and mating. That puts you two steps ahead of all the college graduates who have applied.'

"I think our daughter should change her major. She can now ask for money in 3 different languages!"

'Hmmm, everyone seems to have prepared for the exam except for Thomas who's making a long face now.'

"History test? But I studied all night for a math test!"

'9K a year!? It's an outrage! At my level of attendance that's 3K per lecture!'

"I thought SAT was 'Smart Alec Teacher'!"

Exams

"Student unicorn"

'I got a darn D-plus, and that's WITH cheating!'

Livin' the dream

'That concludes the list of students with outstanding grades. And now for those of you with outstanding student loan payments...'

"Whoever guesses which cup the college tuition is under, gets it."

"This is a weird frat."

"There was a time when only the rich went to university... now even they can't afford it."

"That's the famous Josh—a high-impact body harboring a very low-impact mind."

"Here's my final exam. My lawyer said I didn't have to answer any of these questions."

'I recommend you major in something other than meat.'

The Pi Advantage

"I have a big test today. It counts for 50 percent of my entire grade! Or maybe it's 40 percent."

'That's required reading' - University Tuition.

'We're having a test on the pilgrims tomorrow, Sir, and I could use the help of providence.'

Bumper Sticker Show Off.

I tried to take eighteen credits.

'Hello mum, could you wash my riot gear for me..?'