College-bound Conqueror Gifts

"One year closer to college!"

"He conquered the known world - now all he's got is sudoku."

'I'd like to challenge the test.'

Trust

"Hey, there's Sara, padding her college-entrance résumé!"

"Be afraid to try new things!"

'I'm having a hard time balancing homework and family time.'

"Looting and plundering! Looting and plundering! There must be more to life!...."

'Good news Mom. I was accepted to the college of your choice.'

"While your lesson plans were perfect, and your bulletin boards were terrific...your classroom management skills need work!"

"Your room is exactly how you left it before you went to college, except of course, for our boarder, Mr. Grunze."

"Thanks for the offer... but I'd rather see if tech support can get my computer running."

"I knew there'd be pitfalls when I became a teacher, but thirty to a classroom is too many."

'Sorry professor, my mind was some other place.'

"This'll look great on my transcript!"

The sixth college sense. 'I see debt people.'

"My dad doesn't nag me enough about going to college."

'Diet Plan Rule number one: Stop using ice cream truck music as your ringtone.'

"But playing computer games help my. . . uh. . . dexterity, so I can do my school work better!"

"That's my survival kit. It has a meditation tape, aspirin and rose-coloured glasses."

'I'm sorry but we don't have athletic scholarships for video games.'

"I'm Billy's mother, and this is his attorney!"

"Isn't it great? I found little 'Classroom Mode' switches behind their ears."

Overeaters anonymous meeting 9 to 10pm

'I just can't take the eraser bits, the spit balls and the insults anymore!'

'You waved a white flag?2

"It's all set. We both have enough credits to go to college."