College-bound Conqueror Gifts

As he picked up the video game controller, the trap was sprung, and Ryan's mother forced him to fill out college applications.

"One year closer to college!"

"He conquered the known world - now all he's got is sudoku."

'I'd like to challenge the test.'

Trust

"Hey, there's Sara, padding her college-entrance résumé!"

"Be afraid to try new things!"

Yahoo! What's that about? She got into the college of her choice. Which college is it? Not sure. She chose to apply to 37. West Fester High School.

"Looting and plundering! Looting and plundering! There must be more to life!...."

'I'm having a hard time balancing homework and family time.'

Supermarket Merge

'Good news Mom. I was accepted to the college of your choice.'

I'm interning at town hall for my college transcript. Cool. I'm taking AP classes to boost my GPA. How about you, Twig? I'm working at my dad's nursery. What do you get out of that? Money. Novel idea!

“Honestly class, where are your minds?!”

I got into the college everyone wants to go to! Well played. It's the perfect fit for me! Way to go! Eco-Club. Which one is it? Dunno. Why do you care? So I don't apply there!

The bane of every college applicant: the admissions essay.

"While your lesson plans were perfect, and your bulletin boards were terrific...your classroom management skills need work!"

"Your room is exactly how you left it before you went to college, except of course, for our boarder, Mr. Grunze."

"Thanks for the offer... but I'd rather see if tech support can get my computer running."

"You see 'The Man' devised this shrewd plan so more people can go to college and become doctors and lawyers and stuff. Now that they're 'productive members of society,' revolution is the last thing on their minds! I plan to make that my doctoral thesis wh

'Sorry professor, my mind was some other place.'

I'm freaking out! Thursday is dress rehearsal. Nerves? Work! I've got a math and history test on Friday. Why did I ever sign up for the spring musical? Because it's fun? West Fester High School. On my college application it'll look like I had fun. It'll go with your "Looks aren't important" essay.

"This'll look great on my transcript!"

"I knew there'd be pitfalls when I became a teacher, but thirty to a classroom is too many."

The sixth college sense. 'I see debt people.'

"My dad doesn't nag me enough about going to college."

"But playing computer games help my. . . uh. . . dexterity, so I can do my school work better!"

'Diet Plan Rule number one: Stop using ice cream truck music as your ringtone.'

"That's my survival kit. It has a meditation tape, aspirin and rose-coloured glasses."

'I'm sorry but we don't have athletic scholarships for video games.'

"I'm Billy's mother, and this is his attorney!"

"Isn't it great? I found little 'Classroom Mode' switches behind their ears."

Overeaters anonymous meeting 9 to 10pm

"I'm glad this is the last of it. Mom and Dad kept smiling, but I know it's breaking their hearts that I'm going to be living at college!"

"It's all set. We both have enough credits to go to college."