Collectors' Club Pillows

Art Buyer Running Away with Unfinished Picture.

"I hear you bought a new classic car."

"We don't call them 'horns' anymore. They're interactive audio crash deterrent stimulators."

"In my life, I've had seven cars, six jobs, five houses, four bypass operations, and three wives!"

"I want to be straight with you, Cathy—I've gone through a number of cars in my life."

'This is a wind-up, isn't it?'

Showing off the good china 3-7 pm.

'You don't have the muscles to buy a muscle car, dear.'

'God's speed.'

"Dang, there goes another piece of the wife's good china. You see father, it's

'I'm afraid you'll have to buy a car, sir -- Braxton, here, accidentally sold your car to somebody else.'

"Grandma's TV is so old it wasn't made in a foreign country."

Doulton Canada Geese

"The keep saying unrestored and what a nice PATINA, Ted. A better-sounding word for old tarnished stuff would be SCRINCH or SKRITCH, don't you think, eh, Ted?"

"Too much club."

'Mom, dad's toasting the new year with the car again!'

'But, honey, the girl in the bikini only adds to the awesomeness of my car.'

"...and it comes with sat-nav, which as you can see the previous owner used all the time."

Over-reaction Man.

"There it is...the car of my dreams! It's the perfect match! The seat...the steering wheel...they just call my name! I'm not leaving here without it!"

Acme Flyswatters.

'It's a British car. Needs braces.'

'Built in obsolescence: Mini with a wind up gramophone.'

Why some Polar Bears eat their young.

'I want one that says 'get lost' but includes a pocket compass.'

"How long is this hole!! 540 metres!! I'll need a car to drive that far!!"

No Carrot Sign (like the old 'no radio' signs).

"I'm sure you want little Jimmy to have a complete set of 'Muscular Heroes of the Cosmos,' now, don't you, Mr. Bennett?"

"Do you have anything smaller?"

Driverless tow truck.

Mum's love of china had reached critical levels.

"Got any new monster trucks?"

"It was basically $10,000 per cup holder."