Collecting Wine Books Gifts

A wine snob prefers books that are full of snobbery and pedantry.

My Bookshelf Before the Internet

'A cheeky red?'

"Vintage? What would you like it to be?"

Victor Hugo

Wine Lady

"Umm ... not sure what notes you'll detect on your palate, but it'll get you ripped."

Not to be a motion picture. Will remain just a book.

J. R. R. Tolkien

'My luck, I buy a bottle of wine from 450 B.C. and it's still five years from reaching maturity.'

'Plastic corks, then screw caps; when they come out with a flip-n-sip Chateau Petrus I'm hanging up my tastevin.'

Woman blowing dust off book 'Desert Romance'

'Eight years old, huh? If it's so good, why didn't somebody drink it eight years ago?'

'He's holding a sign saying he's marooned with 20 cases of La Tache. A second sign: drop a corkscrew and come back in six months.'

Shop struggles to sell books about recession: '90 per cent off on all credit crunch books' (Titles incluude: Beat the Crunch! Who's to Blame? We're all Doomed!)

'The definition of OBSOLETE: old fashioned dictionaries.'

'If you're having trouble finding what you want, try our other store--'Cabernet Sauvignons Starting with the Letter B'.'

Wine enthusiast tries to make his way to Cork.

"Is there any way I can un-drink this wine?"

Wine Selection 'Here we are. Our cheapest house wine. Would the gentleman care to smell the twisty cap?'

'No, I'm not the sommelier; in fact, I don't even work here - I've just always wanted to try this wine.'

"Not that I have the time, but I enjoy reading."

'You sent your wife to get a bottle of wine from the wine cellar? Your jet doesn't have a wine cellar.'

"You have a big check because you had a big wine."

"If I Can Make One Critic Smile..."

'Al, that hopeless romantic, sends me love letters written in wine. I just wish he'd use red instead of white.'

Horror Stories.

Divine Desk Bins

Kanya West Inspired Children Books.

Muhammad Ali publishes a popup book.

'So it's the Mumm's Cordon Rouge, '98 Pouilly-Fuisse, '86 Chateau Margaux, and the '92 Barsac - would you like any food?'

"Is Pinot Noir where you want to be?"

How to win friends and Influenza People.

"My wife commissioned a portrait of me."

true love.