Collecting Wine Books Pillows

A wine snob prefers books that are full of snobbery and pedantry.

My Bookshelf Before the Internet

'A cheeky red?'

Wine Lady

'Plastic corks, then screw caps; when they come out with a flip-n-sip Chateau Petrus I'm hanging up my tastevin.'

'My luck, I buy a bottle of wine from 450 B.C. and it's still five years from reaching maturity.'

Woman blowing dust off book 'Desert Romance'

Not to be a motion picture. Will remain just a book.

'Eight years old, huh? If it's so good, why didn't somebody drink it eight years ago?'

'He's holding a sign saying he's marooned with 20 cases of La Tache. A second sign: drop a corkscrew and come back in six months.'

'The definition of OBSOLETE: old fashioned dictionaries.'

'If you're having trouble finding what you want, try our other store--'Cabernet Sauvignons Starting with the Letter B'.'

Wine Selection 'Here we are. Our cheapest house wine. Would the gentleman care to smell the twisty cap?'

Wine enthusiast tries to make his way to Cork.

"Not that I have the time, but I enjoy reading."

Shop struggles to sell books about recession: '90 per cent off on all credit crunch books' (Titles incluude: Beat the Crunch! Who's to Blame? We're all Doomed!)

'No, I'm not the sommelier; in fact, I don't even work here - I've just always wanted to try this wine.'

"Is there any way I can un-drink this wine?"

'You sent your wife to get a bottle of wine from the wine cellar? Your jet doesn't have a wine cellar.'

'So it's the Mumm's Cordon Rouge, '98 Pouilly-Fuisse, '86 Chateau Margaux, and the '92 Barsac - would you like any food?'

"If I Can Make One Critic Smile..."

'Al, that hopeless romantic, sends me love letters written in wine. I just wish he'd use red instead of white.'

"You have a big check because you had a big wine."

"Is Pinot Noir where you want to be?"

Divine Desk Bins

Horror Stories.

"My wife commissioned a portrait of me."

"There are those who write books to be read and other who write novels for bookshelves."

'What have you got for the man who knows everything?'