Collecting Rumors T-Shirts

'Pss-st, Harley-Davidson is up one-and-a-quarter...pass it on.'

"I've done this procedure so often I could do it in my sleep. But that's only happened twice – that I'll admit to."

Vegetarian Birds

'Kix? Yes, Ma'am -- you can get your Kix on aisle 66.'

Mexican Jumping Balls.

Every morning the office gossip was cascaded down...

'Come on Jill, they say the water's well good.'

'The pills stopped your depression but we may need to adjust the dosage, Sister Naomi.'

'This prescription will stimulate your funny bone which will cause you to laugh. We both know that laughter is the best medicine.'

"Oh, great, there are the Cardwells. Bet you they try to talk to us about their levitating cube."

"That was a rumor day."

"I've got a painful burning sensation in my groin, doc."

Chameleon humor...'I never metamorphosis I didn't like...'

'When you said, Dream Team, I thought you meant the Swiss Bikini Team.'

'She's the worst gossip I've ever come across.'

'These are Martha's Camp Cupcake Muffins - and I've just ordered her new apron from the prison gift shop.'

'Today on wall street, a rumor led to a rumor which raised fears of insider rumor-mongering.'

'I would suggest a Cabernet Sauvignon. It's non habit forming. I should know. I've been drinking a glass every day for twenty years.'

'Tom's always been the black sheep of the family.'

Dog to dog: 'I hate the way pointers are always blaming somebody else.'

"Facts are good, but we need all the rumors, gossip, and speculation to fully understand the situation."

"Champagne always makes her light-headed."

'Read ALL about IT! In other less TRASHIER Newspapers!'

"Same hectic routine every damn year. Mind if I hang back with you?"

"My great-uncle Octavio always wore his hat in the house. That way, if bad company knocked on the door, he could say he was just leaving."

'I don't remember ever having a good memory.'

"Our stock is down. Start some rumors on Wall Street that it's going up."

'Oh, you know, the usual...just working.'

Waiting for the 5 o'clock hooter.

"Quick - make something up, I've got a space to fill."

'Well, it is just my opinion, but it's backed by the best rumor and speculation the internet can provide.'

"Well, that's not a good sign."

"Back in my day there weren't any delivery trucks, distribution centers and fancy computers! We just hopped door-to-door until our feet bled!"

Apple says to banana: 'Look, it's had to explain ??" you're just a naturally funny guy, OK?'

'He arranged it himself. Let's face it he really was the skinflint's skinflint...'