Collecting Key Chains T-Shirts

'Why, officer, this ain't no weapon. It's just my key chain.'

'This is the only part of my old Army uniform that still fits.'

Cat Tie

"On the plus side, I finally have a key to the executive washroom."

Special offer on snakeskin ties.

"1-1"

'Here was proof that Lawrence was indeed an Englishman."

'The latest market research shows that men's neckware width is the most accurate indicator of market fluctuations.'

"Donald, the dog wants to get back in."

"Didn't I say you'd be the only man not wearing a bow tie?"

A Fork-lift.

"And, should you ever lose the key to the city, I hid another one here."

'I've discovered that the rings around Saturn are composed of lost keys, socks and grocery lists.'

'What do you mean you've misplace the keys?'

'Is this what you're looking for?'

'What do you mean you lost the keys?'

The Mosskeytoe.

Cricket widow's revenge

The Spoonish Inquisition

'Throw it out? It's worth more! That's $27 worth of wine spilled onto a $12 tie.'

"Take my advice—never let anybody talk you into joining the Tie-of-the-Month Club."

There's a fork in the road.

'I can't find my key.'

'The great thing about polka dots is that one more dot won't hurt.'

'He gave me my own key so I can get back in when I want to.'

'Darling you left the key in the car again!'

"Good dog!"

'Don't laugh - it paid out more than 18 grand last week.'

Oh great. Where are we going to find a locksmith willing to come out on a night like this?

'You'll have to wait until I find my keys.'