Collecting Key Chains T-Shirts

'Why, officer, this ain't no weapon. It's just my key chain.'

'This is the only part of my old Army uniform that still fits.'

Cat Tie

"On the plus side, I finally have a key to the executive washroom."

Special offer on snakeskin ties.

"1-1"

'Here was proof that Lawrence was indeed an Englishman."

'The latest market research shows that men's neckware width is the most accurate indicator of market fluctuations.'

"Didn't I say you'd be the only man not wearing a bow tie?"

"Donald, the dog wants to get back in."

A Fork-lift.

'I don't know what happened. One minute she's spooning me. The next minute I'm knifing her.'

'I've discovered that the rings around Saturn are composed of lost keys, socks and grocery lists.'

'What do you mean you've misplace the keys?'

Robin Day.

'What do you mean you lost the keys?'

"And, should you ever lose the key to the city, I hid another one here."

'Is this what you're looking for?'

"Whose tie?"

"Take my advice—never let anybody talk you into joining the Tie-of-the-Month Club."

The Spoonish Inquisition

Cricket widow's revenge

The Mosskeytoe.

"Could you let Mitten sit on all your keyboards to see which one she likes?"

'Throw it out? It's worth more! That's $27 worth of wine spilled onto a $12 tie.'

'We don't care if you're ZZ Top, ties required for gentlemen.'

There's a fork in the road.

'I can't find my key.'

'Don't laugh - it paid out more than 18 grand last week.'

'Darling you left the key in the car again!'

"Good dog!"

'He gave me my own key so I can get back in when I want to.'

'The great thing about polka dots is that one more dot won't hurt.'

'Oh great...another new tie.'

Oh great. Where are we going to find a locksmith willing to come out on a night like this?