Collecting Holiday Gifts Gifts

"I'm still waiting on that pony."

"That'll be five bucks."

Ball as water-melon.

"I always end up buying way more black-truffle honey than I intended."

"It's our most popular gift - a helium cookie."

"Not much in the way of loot, but we got a ton of store credit."

Christmas Hugs

'I had no idea there were so many types of dog treats.'

The Portrait of Dorian Gray after one year in lockdown.

"Could you pass me up? I'm in row one."

'I'd like three dozen friendship cards -- this war has gone on long enough.'

Santa Claus and the Snowman Cross Paths

'My husband, Bill, works at the airport - I still haven't opened my birthday presents from three years ago.'

"Instead of wishes, I got you a gift card."

A sheep, a humming bird and a beetle - 'Baa, hum, bug'

English People With Servants Having Problems - On Demand

"Well, if you expect me to be good, you'll have to bring me something better than the rubbish I got last year!"

'Impressive screen, but doesn't it put you off your tea?'

"Today's news is so bad, it makes yesterday's bad news look good."

Life Imitates Arf....

Wild fruit

Baron Frankenstein on Christmas morning.

'What can you suggest for a young lady who thinks she has everything?'

"Stop pestering me. Dating you is the last thing I'd do."

Greeting Cards

"You have reached your destination (for the 4th time tonight, I might I add?)"

The Magi: Christmas, 1993

"Write 'Get back to work, Simmons!' Sign it 'Warmly, Mr. Johnson' and 'P.S. get well.'"

'That's typical as soon as you snap on the light, they disappear.'

'Cards don't send greetings, people send greetings.'