Collecting Funny Cartoons Gifts

'That's 'Mister old fart' to you!'

Golf ball stuck on a camel in a bunker next to a confused looking golfer

'No, thanks; can't handle caffeine, nicotine, alcohol, or number six birdshot.'

'You don't need a menu here, mate. If you can't see it on my apron, we don't sell it.'

"I recommend the mushrooms."

"You're here to discuss sin, aren't you, sir?"

"I said I'm the bluebird of happiness. I didn't say I'm the bluebird of fun."

'Has this one got cavity walls?' - 'Only since the rats moved in.'

"These choir robes are so hot, I'm glad I went commando."

'Give me a break will you? I have only a few days to live anyway...'

"Merry Christmas."

"I follow a Mediterranean diet."

With a wine in each hand you won't accidentally touch your face!

The Games Man: Fishing is his sole form of exercise - but he considers it bad form to move more than his wrist when casting.

'It appears he hit an iceberg.' (A LETTUCE)

A large leaf falling on a dog

I'm prepared to admit that you may have startled me a bit, sure!

"I'm sorry, but my costs were way out of control."

"Call me?"

"Sorry. I just find rotating my head helps me to relax during the test."

"Been following me around all morning. I think it's the new intern."

Pigeon Little

Periscope spies beautiful water-skier.

'Fancy you doing a curtsey and she being a non-serving royal, you big dope!'

'Excuse me could you please direct me to the nearest toilet?'

"Just because we're hyenas doesn't mean we always have to get Laughing Cow cheese."

Cash Machines From Across the Land

'It's true what they say: People often look like their pets...'

"I admire your enthusiasm, but you’re not really flying."

Peach flirting with a banana.

"I just know he's gonna ask me why I voted for Trump."

'The 'Leviathan Bat,' or many centuried marvel of the modern (cricket) world. (Dr. William Gilbert Grace.)'

BEWARE OF THE DOG!; 'So much for management's pledge to bargain in good faith.'

Car joust.

'The ones with the teethmarks are the had centers.'