Collecting Dental Humor Gifts

Dentist.

"Pollyanna, your teeth are shot. Stop sugar coating everything!"

"Right now, grandmom's bark is definitely worse than her bite!"

I see braces in his future.

"FYI that the novocaine will numb the pain caused by the drill but won’t help with the pain caused by the overhead adult contemporary music."

Now I lay me down to sleep, I pray the Lord my soul to keep and with the sun if I've found death, please excuse my morning breath.

'I'm worried: He doesn't have buckteeth...'

'It's a British car. Needs braces.'

Dentist as psychoanalyst with tooth patient on couch

'Mind that molar, careful of that canine...'

Dentist in ashes - 'Have you been eating garlic?'

Dentist Speak - Monologues

"You've been grinding your fangs."

'Stop! Wait 'til he finishes cleaning my teeth!'

"I had them sharpened so I can eat cows."

"Remove your shoes and socks. We ran out of laughing gas"

'If you find any loose ones, I have dibs on them for the tooth fairy.'

Dentist Suction

"It's teeth whitening."

F&E Dentistry. Happy Halloween. That pumpkin doesn't have any teeth! He never brushed --- It's a plaque-o-lantern.

"Thanks, Doc- you've put me back in business."

"And then I said 'Don't worry, this is perfectly safe!' Ha, ha!"

"Needs ketchup."

'Did the nasty man hurt you?'

Dentist: We drill/Fill/Bill.

'Open wide.' 'Your wallet.'

Licensed to drill.

'Two cavities, that's not so bad. But I only have three teeth'

"Of course, I would suggest a shot of novacaine."

"That's a nasty cavity. That is why it is so important to brush your hair."

"You're not a gift horse, are you?"

'You really should Floss.'

'I need you to open wide, Peel.' - 'Ahhh.' - 'Not your mouth, fool! Your wallet.' - 'Arghhh!' - 'Wider!' - 'Argh!'

'I had no idea floss could be used like that!'

'A tough one, I'm afraid.'