Collecting Badges Pillows

"Nothing to be concerned about. We just want to show you our phony badges and then leave."

Vampire laying in his coffin wearing a Smiley badge.

Shut Up

Please Drove Carefully.

"I guess I was a good shot, because I took down 50 Nazis...all by myself. That's how I got my silver star. Honestly, I don't consider myself a hero. I consider myself lucky."

(Visual gag) Wellard's annual BIG HANDBAG SALE!! A woman is dragging a huge bag out from a bag shop

Snowman with Happy Face Badge.

Baseball pitch with a sign saying 'No Left Turn.'

Cat Show

Goldilocks and the seventeen black shoulder bags

"It's from my first fight. So make the stitches big so I'll have a gnarly scar to show off."

'Whoa! This was supposed to be an easy merit badge!'

Happy Champion

'I let my merit badges do the talking.'

"Knowing all the weather rock lore doesn't really count toward the weather badge."

'This biometric ID badge is part of the new security system. The badge contains my encoded retinal scan, fingerprints, and level of job enthusiasm.'

The Generals medals

"I wonder if this will count for wood carving badge?"

'What's with the cocoa tin lid?'

The American flag

Cat on Board.

Champions biting their medals

A polar bear has slipped and is sprawled out on the ice next to a yellow caution sign that features a slipping figure.

Unpopular Street Signs: Go, Please Litter, Yes Parking, Garbage Collection - Sometimes Never - Mon-Fri.

'We're confident that morale dips resulting from the recent salary cuts will be offset by the distribution of these smiley face badges to all affected employees.'

'Betsy Ross knitted it for me.'

'I'd have a lot more of em if it weren't' for some jerks always looking for peaceful situations.'

Clearing up medals.

'This one is for not making a pre-emptive strike against anyone questioning our authority to make pre-emptive strikes.'

Beer Sergeant.

Most Loyal Employee Award

"At first I was homesick....now I'll probably be campsick for awhile!"

'This one's for clearing my browser history. This one's for emptying my cache. This one's...'

"Wow! You really pulled out all the stops."

Continental marshal