Colleague Who Is A Pet Owner Gifts

'Now, you're new here, but you should know the rules: I get Master's newspaper and slippers! Got that?'

'With 73 dog obedience books read between us, I think we must consider defeat.'

Things to do: 1. Sit 2. Stay 3. Sit 4. Stay

'Cat or dog?' - 'A little of both.'

"Well, here's the problem. You been takin' the hair ball pills and givin' the Viagra to the cats."

"I'm beginning to think that buy one, get one free is not always a good thing."

'Don't be embarrassed by your anti-barking collar, implanted tracking chip, and GPS device. Just think of them as fashion accessories.'

"Your credentials are impressive, Carter but... quite frankly, Mr. Biggles doesn't seem to like you."

"Don't even think about it."

"Your love gives me strength."

''I couldn't wait any longer.''

"Lori, I can’t talk right now — I’m right in the middle of updating my dog’s Facebook page."

'Once again you have exceeded my expectations.'

"I'm no expert but I think global worming would be a good thing."

"Sorry - my dog is at the vet. This one is a loaner."

"I yip, therefore I am."

"You've got athletes foot."

After bring your cat to work day, I ended up with 5 extra cats.

"Technically, He's supposed to generate more energy than he uses."

Your resume looks great

Sure, I'll sit, but I want half the treat upfront.

"If you don't make up your mind who's taking me out, I'll do it right here."

'Real hungry? Should be, 'Really hungry.' Adjectives take adverbs.'

'That beagle sure is a tough case!'

Dog's game

I can't afford to pay for Fluffy's spay...

'He took a fetching class.'

'I'm worried about that dog's hearing,Doris.'

'...Basset Hound! Anal sacs!'

"After so much fake news, how can I believe you actually threw it this time?"

'Calm down darling... now what do you mean the tortoise has gone berserk?'

The entire team applauds you.

'Well, it's kind of an IV enema!'

Landing That Tough Account

'Hello, is that Dugdame and Son's, the plumber?'